The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups.

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 6.5)

Sample Response

1

The two chartsillustration delineates average working hours of eight types of professionals and the percentages of professionalsthem suffering from stress-related problems. Overall, despite extended working hours, business owners have fewer stress-related illnessesanxiety issues while this is highest among the lecturersteachers, who workworks considerably fewer hours per weekday. As the data suggests, businessmen work roughly 70 hours a week, more than professionals in any other grouphigher than any other professional. Despite this longer professional engagement, their rate of stress-related illness is relatively lowtheir percentage of work-stress issues is lower, 11% to be precise. Doctors and movie producers both work more than 50 hours per weekmore than 10 hours per day and the proportions suffering from stress-related illness aretheir percentages of illness from work pressure account for 15 and 18 percent respectively. Writers and programmers have fewer stress-related problemsconsiderably fewer stress issues despite their longer working weekstheir more office duration than chefs, who work for only 30 hours per week but account for 10% of people with stress-related problemsconstitute 10% patients with stress-related problems. Notably,It is worth noticing that, one in four lecturers suffers from stress-related sicknesses though their weekly working hours aretheir working hours per week is the lowest, only 25 hours. This signifies that work-related stress illnessillness from stress from professional engagement is not directly related to the working hours of these professionals.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response offers a clear overview and makes several useful cross-chart comparisons, with accurate figures for business owners, doctors, producers and lecturers. Its main limitation is incomplete and occasionally inaccurate coverage, especially the omission of lawyers and the claim that doctors and producers work more than ten hours per day when the chart reports weekly totals. Prioritise precise units and full coverage of the most relevant groups.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.0
Scoring rule

A clear overview and several accurate comparisons identify the lack of a direct relationship between working hours and stress, though one group is omitted and one unit is misreported.

Next step

Include the lawyers and consistently describe all working-time figures as weekly totals.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5
Scoring rule

The information progresses logically from an overview to selected comparisons, but presenting everything in one dense paragraph weakens the organisation.

Next step

Separate the overview from two logically grouped detail paragraphs, such as longer-hour and shorter-hour occupations.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

A varied vocabulary supports comparison, although phrases such as more office duration and constitute 10% patients are imprecise or unnatural.

Next step

Use established data-reporting collocations such as work longer hours and account for 10% of stress-related cases.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

The response uses a good range of complex structures, but agreement errors and a few awkward constructions reduce control.

Next step

Check subject-verb agreement carefully, especially in clauses such as teachers who work and their working hours are.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups.

Your response

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Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.