The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study. asleep: awake: Occupation Student Truck Driver Full-time mother Business Executive Doctor 6-7 pm 7-8 pm 8-9 pm 9-10 pm 10-11 pm 11-12 pm 12-1 am 1-2 am 2-3 am 3-4 am 4-5 am 5-6 am 6-7 am 7-8 am 8-9 am 9-10 am 10-11 am 11-12 am 12-1 pm 1-2 pm 2-3 pm 3-4 pm 4-5 pm 5-6 pm
Sample Response
The diagram outlines the sleep pattern of students, truck drivers, mothers, business executives and doctors in a typical day. Generally speaking, students and business executives have a steady sleep pattern while others sleep in a scattered fashion. It is explicitly observed that students usually sleep 8 hours a day, from 11.00 pm to 7.00 am, without any interruption and their duration of rest is higher than people from other professions. Business executives have a continuous nap schedule but they sleep only 6 hours, from 11 pm to 5 pm. Truck drivers seem like have the most sporadic sleep schedule and they sleep 6 hours a day in a scattered way in the early morning and evening time. A similar rest agenda could be observed for full-time mothers who take rest 8 hours a day but at three different times of the day. They are usually awake at mid-night as do the truck drivers. Finally, doctors sleep only 5 hours a day, the least among the given categories, and they sleep from late night till early morning with the exception of 3-4 in the morning when they remain awake.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: pattern Suggested revision: patterns Why it matters: The report compares several groups, so the plural form is required.
- 2. Natural time phrase Original: in Suggested revision: over Why it matters: Over is the natural preposition for a pattern spanning a full day.
- 3. Add contrast comma Original: steady sleep pattern while Suggested revision: steady sleep pattern, while Why it matters: A comma should separate the two contrasted clauses.
- 4. Use direct wording Original: It is explicitly observed Suggested revision: The chart shows Why it matters: Direct reporting language is clearer and more natural here.
- 5. Add duration preposition Original: sleep 8 hours Suggested revision: sleep for eight hours Why it matters: For is needed before a duration after sleep.
- 6. Fix comparison Original: their duration of rest is higher than people Suggested revision: their sleep duration is longer than that of people Why it matters: A duration must be compared with another duration, not directly with people.
- 7. Use accurate term Original: nap Suggested revision: sleep Why it matters: Nap does not accurately describe the main overnight sleep period.
- 8. Correct time endpoint Original: from 11 pm to 5 pm Suggested revision: from 11 p.m. to 5 a.m. Why it matters: The stated six-hour duration requires an endpoint of 5 a.m., not 5 p.m.
- 9. Fix verb pattern Original: like Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Seem is followed by a to-infinitive in this construction.
- 10. Add duration preposition Original: they sleep 6 hours a day Suggested revision: they sleep for six hours a day Why it matters: For is required before the duration.
- 11. Describe split periods Original: in a scattered way Suggested revision: in separate periods Why it matters: Separate periods describes the discontinuous schedule more precisely.
- 12. Use concise noun Original: evening time Suggested revision: the evening Why it matters: The evening is the natural concise time expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- pattern patterns
- in over
- steady sleep pattern while steady sleep pattern, while
- It is explicitly observed The chart shows
- sleep 8 hours sleep for eight hours
- their duration of rest is higher than people their sleep duration is longer than that of people
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its comprehensive occupation-by-occupation coverage and a useful overview contrasting continuous with scattered sleep patterns. Its main limitation is accuracy: students are presented as sleeping longer than every other group despite mothers also receiving eight hours, and the executive schedule ends at 5 pm rather than 5 am. The priority is to verify every duration and time label against the chart before describing comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response gives a clear overview and addresses all five occupations, but a few significant timing and comparative claims are inaccurate.
Check each sleeping interval and total carefully, especially the executive end time and the equal eight-hour totals for students and mothers.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses logically from the overview through each occupation, although presenting everything in one paragraph reduces structural clarity.
Separate the overview from two grouped detail paragraphs, contrasting regular sleepers with those whose sleep is interrupted.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary shows useful range for describing regularity and duration, but several collocations are unnatural, including "rest agenda" and "take rest."
Prefer precise chart terms such as "sleep schedule," "sleep for eight hours," and "interrupted sleep periods."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures communicates the comparisons clearly overall, but recurring construction and comparison errors reduce control.
Correct patterns such as "seem to have" and compare durations with those of other groups rather than with the people themselves.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study. asleep: awake: Occupation Student Truck Driver Full-time mother Business Executive Doctor 6-7 pm 7-8 pm 8-9 pm 9-10 pm 10-11 pm 11-12 pm 12-1 am 1-2 am 2-3 am 3-4 am 4-5 am 5-6 am 6-7 am 7-8 am 8-9 am 9-10 am 10-11 am 11-12 am 12-1 pm 1-2 pm 2-3 pm 3-4 pm 4-5 pm 5-6 pm
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.