The diagram below shows the development of the cutting tool in the Stone Age.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The diagram illustrates the development of the cutting tool across two time periodsfrom two different time periods within the Stone Age.
Although the overall size and shape of the two cutting tools are very similar, the cutting tool from the latter time period shows some distinct improvements.
Tool A depictsis a depiction of a Stone Age cutting tool used approximately 1.4 million years ago, while tool B is from a later part of the Stone Age, approximately 0.8 million years agoStone Age approximately 0.8 million years ago. Both cutting tools are similar in shape and size, being roughly 10cm in length. However, tool A looks to be quite a crude implement, while tool B appears to have been refined into a more refined cutting toola more effective cutting device.
From the front and rear viewsview, tool B appears to be much wider than tool A and has a rounder body shape. The cutting edges also appear to be more distinct and symmetrical. The side view shows a distinct difference in the thickness of the two tools, with tool B significantly slimmer than tool A.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, well-organised comparison of the two tools and accurately highlights the later tool's wider body, greater symmetry, and slimmer profile. Its main limitation is that a few descriptions are somewhat interpretive, such as calling Tool B more effective, rather than strictly reporting visible features. The priority is to support every evaluative claim with a precise visual comparison while retaining the concise overview and controlled language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report presents a clear overview and accurately compares the tools' age, height, width, symmetry, edges, and thickness.
Keep conclusions strictly visual by replacing the claim that Tool B is more effective with a directly observable feature.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced from introduction and overview to general comparison and then view-specific details.
Integrate the short opening paragraphs more smoothly so the introduction and overview feel less segmented.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and precise, with effective choices such as crude implement, refined, symmetrical, and slimmer.
Prefer fully objective descriptive terms where words such as improvements and effective introduce interpretation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately and naturally, with only very minor lapses.
Maintain number agreement in phrases such as front and rear views to make an already strong performance more exact.