The graphs below show the Expenditure on Health & Education, UAE as percentages of GDP and Infant mortality and life expectancy.
Sample Response
The bar graph indicates the expenditure ratio of the UAE government in education and healthcare between 1985 and 1993, whereas the line graph compares life expectancy and infant mortality rate in the UAE in 1970 with that of 1992. Overall, UAE administrator spent more ratio of their budget on education than they did on health care. The improvement Emiratis achieved to prevent child death cases was remarkable. As the bar chart suggests, the UAE administration spent one-tenth of their GDP in the health sector in 1985 and their spending on public health was roughly 2% lower than that. After 5 years, 14% of GDP went on education which was almost double than the expenditure in health division. Interestingly, the UAE authority spent less ratio of their GDP in public health in 1990 than they did in 1985 but it went up to 10% in 1993. The funds for education went as high as nearly 15% in 1993. The line graph delineates that Emiratis people’s life expectancy was 60 years in 1970 and it was extended to just over 70 years after two decades. Infant mortality rate, on the other hand, was quite high in 1970 (70 child death in every thousand) and it improved significantly during 22 years when it went as low as 20 per thousand.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise spending phrase Original: expenditure ratio of the UAE government in Suggested revision: proportion of UAE government spending on Why it matters: The revision uses a natural collocation and the correct preposition for spending categories.
- 2. Add definite article Original: life expectancy and infant mortality rate Suggested revision: life expectancy and the infant mortality rate Why it matters: The specific measured rate requires the definite article in this coordinated phrase.
- 3. Name the institution Original: UAE administrator Suggested revision: the UAE government Why it matters: “Government” is the accurate collective noun for the body responsible for national expenditure.
- 4. Use comparison collocation Original: more ratio of their budget Suggested revision: a larger proportion of its GDP Why it matters: “A larger proportion” is the natural comparative phrase, and the graph measures GDP rather than a budget.
- 5. Use formal time link Original: After 5 years Suggested revision: Five years later Why it matters: This time connector links the 1985 and 1990 figures more directly.
- 6. Fix comparative structure Original: which was almost double than Suggested revision: which was almost twice Why it matters: “Twice” takes no “than” when it directly modifies the following amount.
- 7. Use natural spending term Original: expenditure in health division Suggested revision: expenditure on healthcare Why it matters: Expenditure is made “on” a sector, and “healthcare” is more natural than “health division.”
- 8. Keep institution consistent Original: authority Suggested revision: government Why it matters: Using the same accurate institutional label avoids unnecessary variation.
- 9. Correct proportion phrase Original: spent less ratio of their GDP Suggested revision: spent a smaller proportion of its GDP Why it matters: The comparative requires “a smaller proportion,” and the singular institution takes “its.”
- 10. Correct spending preposition Original: in Suggested revision: on Why it matters: The verb “spent” takes “on” before the spending category.
- 11. Use chart terminology Original: The funds for education Suggested revision: Education expenditure Why it matters: This phrase identifies the measured series more directly and precisely.
- 12. Use concise trend verb Original: went as high as nearly 15% Suggested revision: rose to nearly 15% Why it matters: “Rose to” is the standard concise expression for reaching a higher value.
Suggested Rewrites
- expenditure ratio of the UAE government in proportion of UAE government spending on
- life expectancy and infant mortality rate life expectancy and the infant mortality rate
- UAE administrator the UAE government
- more ratio of their budget a larger proportion of its GDP
- After 5 years Five years later
- which was almost double than which was almost twice
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report’s strongest feature is its broad coverage of both visuals, with a relevant overview and mostly accurate reporting of the principal changes. Its main limitation is the confused account of the 1985 expenditure figures, compounded by recurring awkward collocations and grammatical slips; the highest-priority improvement is to verify each series against the graphs and express comparisons with precise subject labels and standard comparative structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a relevant overview and covers the principal trends and most key figures from both graphs, although it confuses the 1985 health and education expenditure values.
Check every percentage against the correct series and include the rise in life expectancy explicitly in the overview.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the introduction and overview to expenditure and then demographic outcomes, but the single-block presentation and a few vague references weaken clarity.
Separate the overview and the two visual descriptions into clear paragraphs, with each comparison anchored to an explicit subject.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of reporting vocabulary, but recurring collocational problems such as “more ratio,” “health division,” and “child death cases” reduce precision.
Use standard Task 1 combinations such as “a higher proportion,” “health expenditure,” and “infant deaths per thousand births.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the data clearly, though agreement, article, comparison, and noun-form errors recur.
Proofread subject–verb agreement, plural forms, and comparative patterns, especially replacing “double than” with “almost twice.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graphs below show the Expenditure on Health & Education, UAE as percentages of GDP and Infant mortality and life expectancy.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.