The chart below shows the percentage of people who ate at least five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
This bar chart illustrateselaborates the percentage of people who ate at least five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008 in termsperspective of men, women, and children.
Overall, while the main trend of percentage point rose from 2001 to 2006, that fromform 2007 to 2008 shows an opposite declinea opposite declination. The most striking feature is the percentage of women was the highestrecorded in the highest figure ,followed by men and children.
Starting inat 2001 , the proportion of menpercentage point of men started at about 18%, remained stable from 2001 to 2003, rose togrew up to the peak of 27% in 2006 ,finally dropped a little from 2006 to 2008. Women, by comparison, roserouse from about 21% to about 35% during 5 years ,and fromform 2006 to 2008,dropped down to the same level as thata same status with which in 2004.
UnlikeDifferent to the fluctuations for mensteady climbing for men as well as women ,the percentage point of children remained almost the samealmost same from 2001 to 2003 and 2004 to 2005 ,but a risewith a soaring from about 12% to 17% from 2003 to 2004 and about 18% to 24% from 2005 to 2006, the trend of climbing finally stopped at 26% in 2007, and a same droppingdroping down trend like men's and women's from 2007 to 2008 about 2% points.
Why this response received Band 6.0
文章成功概括了主要趋势与三类人群的数据特征，并做出了恰当的比较。主要短板在于语法结构混乱、标点使用不规范以及词汇拼写与搭配错误较多。建议重点提升长难句句型的准确度，并规范数据描述的常用表达。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务完成度
有效地包含了一个清晰的总体趋势概述，并对男女及儿童的主要数据特征与峰值做出了全面合理的对比。
注意细节描述中具体年份与数据对应的精准度，避免个别微小的描述混淆。
连贯与衔接
文章分段清晰，整体逻辑推进顺畅，但部分衔接词和指代词的使用略显机械或生硬。
多使用自然流畅的过渡词（如 while, in contrast, during the same period），减少过于复杂的非标准连接结构。
词汇资源
尝试使用了多种描述趋势的词汇，但出现了若干拼写错误和误用（如 rouse, declination, droping down）。
积累并熟练掌握图表写作高频词汇的正确拼写与搭配，区分 percentage 和 percentage point 的区别。
语法多样性与准确性
句子结构较为多样，但存在较多语法错误、介词误用以及逗号前后空格不规范等问题，影响了表达的精准度。
加强基础句型（如分词短语、定语从句和时间介词短语）的正确性练习，注意标点符号后空一格的规范。