The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Sample Response
The pie charts illustrate the changes in household spending in the UK between 1971 and 2001. It is clear that the cost of petrol made up the largest proportion of the household spending in 1971 while expenditure on cars was the greatest share of the household spending in 2001. British spent more than one-third of their money on petrol and almost a third to purchase furniture followed by money spent in restaurants, which was precisely a quarter. The least proportion of expenditure was for computers, which accounted for 7% of total expenses by Brits in 1971. After 30 years, British citizens spent significantly less portion to buy petrol, furniture and restaurant meals - 8%, 8%, 14% respectively. In comparison to 1971, they spent nearly double on computers. The largest proportion of household spending was made on owing cars with more than 40% total expenses. The proportion of expenditure on food was 14%. Finally, for books, it was considerably small, only one percent of total costs in 2001.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Missing noun Original: British spent Suggested revision: British people spent Why it matters: The adjective “British” needs a noun when referring to the population.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: least Suggested revision: smallest Why it matters: “Smallest proportion” is the standard collocation for the lowest share.
- 3. Use formal wording Original: total expenses by Brits Suggested revision: total spending by British households Why it matters: This wording is more precise and appropriately formal for a statistical report.
- 4. Match plural items Original: less portion Suggested revision: smaller proportions Why it matters: Three spending categories require a plural noun, and proportions are described as smaller.
- 5. Correct spending phrase Original: to buy petrol, furniture and restaurant meals Suggested revision: on petrol, furniture and restaurant meals Why it matters: The verb “spent” takes “on” before the categories purchased.
- 6. Complete comparison form Original: nearly double on computers Suggested revision: almost twice as much on computers Why it matters: “Twice as much” is needed to express this comparison grammatically.
- 7. Correct word choice Original: owing Suggested revision: owning Why it matters: “Owing” means being in debt, whereas the intended meaning is possessing cars.
- 8. Add proportion marker Original: more than 40% total expenses Suggested revision: more than 40% of total expenditure Why it matters: A percentage followed by its whole requires “of”.
- 9. Clarify the subject Original: for books, it was considerably small Suggested revision: spending on books was considerably lower Why it matters: The revision gives the comparison a clear subject and an appropriate comparative adjective.
- 10. Describe spending directly Original: the cost of petrol Suggested revision: spending on petrol Why it matters: The chart shows the share of expenditure rather than the price of petrol.
- 11. Use concise comparison Original: the greatest share of the household spending Suggested revision: the largest share of household spending Why it matters: “Largest share” is the more natural statistical collocation and avoids an unnecessary article.
- 12. Correct spending structure Original: to purchase furniture Suggested revision: on furniture Why it matters: The verb “spent” takes the preposition “on” before a purchased category.
Suggested Rewrites
- British spent British people spent
- least smallest
- total expenses by Brits total spending by British households
- less portion smaller proportions
- to buy petrol, furniture and restaurant meals on petrol, furniture and restaurant meals
- nearly double on computers almost twice as much on computers
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response accurately identifies the dominant spending categories in both years and reports nearly all figures clearly, with a concise overview of the major shift from petrol to cars. Its main limitation is uneven language control, including awkward collocations and missing articles, while the single-block presentation weakens organisation slightly. Prioritise more natural quantity phrases and divide the overview from detailed comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate coverage of virtually every category provide strong fulfilment of the task.
Make the comparison of computer spending more exact, since 12% is substantially higher than 7% but not quite double.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically from the overview through 1971 and then 2001, although it is presented as one block.
Separate the overview and the two sets of details into purposeful paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for describing proportions and change, but several collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Use natural phrases such as a smaller proportion, spending on cars, and total expenditure.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the data clearly despite recurring article and noun-phrase errors.
Proofread articles, plural forms, and constructions such as British people spent and accounted for over 40% of total expenditure.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.