The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Sample Response
The pie charts compare the proportion of expenditure of British citizens in different categories in 1971 with that of 2001. Overall, fuel, furniture and outside meals drained the highest proportion of British expenditure in 1971, but personal cars cost them the highest after three decades. According to the illustration, Brits used one-quarter of their total expenses to dine in different eateries while almost one-third to own furniture. Petrol cost them the highest, 36% to be precise, and those citizens spent only 7% to buy computers. After 30 years, 43% of their expenses went on owing cars. Their cost ratio on furniture became one-fourth and they spend slightly less than half on restaurant meals as they did three decades earlier. How much they spent on home cooked food in 1971 was not provided but it was 14% in 2001. They spend 5% more for purchasing computers and petrol costs only 8% in 2001. The least percentage of spending was made to buy books, for which no data was given in the early chart.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural proportions Original: proportion of expenditure of British citizens Suggested revision: proportions of British expenditure Why it matters: The charts compare several category shares, so proportions should be plural.
- 2. Fix comparison reference Original: with that of 2001 Suggested revision: with those in 2001 Why it matters: The plural pronoun those must refer back to the multiple proportions.
- 3. Match chart categories Original: fuel, furniture and outside meals Suggested revision: petrol, furniture and restaurant meals Why it matters: These terms match the labels used in the 1971 chart.
- 4. Describe shares accurately Original: drained the highest proportion Suggested revision: accounted for the largest shares Why it matters: Accounted for is the appropriate expression for proportions of expenditure.
- 5. Clarify the largest share Original: personal cars cost them the highest Suggested revision: cars accounted for the largest share Why it matters: The chart reports a spending share rather than the personal cost of cars.
- 6. Use formal wording Original: Brits Suggested revision: British people Why it matters: British people is more suitable for a formal report than the informal term Brits.
- 7. Use spending terminology Original: used one-quarter of their total expenses Suggested revision: spent one quarter of their total expenditure Why it matters: Money is spent rather than used, and expenditure accurately names the measured total.
- 8. Complete the parallel clause Original: while almost one-third to own furniture Suggested revision: and almost one third on furniture Why it matters: The revision supplies the correct preposition and creates a grammatical parallel comparison.
- 9. Report the proportion Original: Petrol cost them the highest Suggested revision: Petrol accounted for the largest share Why it matters: The chart gives petrol's share of expenditure rather than its cost to individuals.
- 10. Fix spending preposition Original: spent only 7% to buy computers Suggested revision: spent only 7% on computers Why it matters: Spend takes the preposition on before the item purchased.
- 11. Correct the verb Original: owing Suggested revision: owning Why it matters: Owing means being in debt, whereas owning conveys possession of cars.
- 12. Match the chart label Original: home cooked food Suggested revision: food Why it matters: The chart labels the category simply as food and does not specify how it was prepared.
Suggested Rewrites
- proportion of expenditure of British citizens proportions of British expenditure
- with that of 2001 with those in 2001
- fuel, furniture and outside meals petrol, furniture and restaurant meals
- drained the highest proportion accounted for the largest shares
- personal cars cost them the highest cars accounted for the largest share
- Brits British people
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview and accurately accounts for every category and major change, including the shift from petrol to cars as the largest expense. Its main limitation is expression: frequent awkward collocations and inconsistent verb tenses make precise figures sound less natural than they should. Prioritise standard expenditure language and maintain the past tense throughout, while separating the two years into distinct detail paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report accurately identifies the dominant categories and covers all available percentages and changes across both years.
State directly that furniture fell from 32% to 8% rather than describing the latter figure indirectly as one-fourth of the former.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses coherently from an overview through 1971 and 2001, though all information is presented in one paragraph.
Use separate detail paragraphs for the two years and end with the smallest or newly introduced categories as a concise comparison.
Lexical Resource
There is some variety in describing spending, but many collocations such as 'drained expenditure' and 'cost ratio' are unnatural.
Use standard phrases such as 'accounted for', 'spending on furniture', 'car-related expenditure', and 'the smallest share'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of comparisons is attempted, but tense shifts, article use, and several clause structures contain recurring errors.
Keep the report in the past tense and use complete forms such as 'They spent 5 percentage points more on computers in 2001'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.