The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Sample Response
The provided pie charts give information on the spending habits of UK citizens in 1971 and 2001. As is observed from the charts, the expenditure on petrol & furniture reduced significantly while the amount spent on computers increased in the UK. In 1971, British spent 36% on petrol which was the highest percentage among the given expense categories. Their expense on Furniture was second largest (32%) while they spent one quarter on restaurant meals. The least portion was spent by them for purchasing computers, which was only 7% in this year. After 30 years, the expense to buy petrol and furniture reduced to 8% each, significantly lower than the percentages spent in 1971. But the expense made on computers increased by 5% in 2001. People spent 1% on books in this year. The expenses for restaurant decreased to 14% compared to the 25% in 1971. The highest amount spent in 2001 by the British was on cars and that consisted almost half of the total expenses in this year.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal conjunction Original: petrol & furniture Suggested revision: petrol and furniture Why it matters: Use "and" rather than an ampersand in formal prose.
- 2. Use intransitive trend verb Original: reduced Suggested revision: fell Why it matters: Expenditure falls by itself, whereas "reduce" normally takes an object here.
- 3. Add people noun Original: In 1971, British spent Suggested revision: In 1971, British people spent Why it matters: "British" needs a noun when referring to the population in this structure.
- 4. Add relative-clause comma Original: petrol which Suggested revision: petrol, which Why it matters: The non-essential relative clause requires a preceding comma.
- 5. Use chart reference Original: the given expense categories Suggested revision: the categories shown Why it matters: This is a more natural way to refer to the chart's categories.
- 6. Use spending phrase Original: Their expense on Furniture Suggested revision: Spending on furniture Why it matters: The revision uses the natural uncountable noun and corrects unnecessary capitalization.
- 7. Separate contrasted clauses Original: (32%) while Suggested revision: (32%), while Why it matters: A comma is needed before "while" when it joins contrasting independent clauses.
- 8. Use proportion collocation Original: The least portion Suggested revision: The smallest proportion Why it matters: "Smallest proportion" is the standard phrase for the lowest percentage.
- 9. Simplify passive phrase Original: was spent by them for purchasing computers Suggested revision: was spent on computers Why it matters: Money is spent "on" an item, and the agent phrase is unnecessary.
- 10. Use natural year reference Original: only 7% in this year Suggested revision: only 7% that year Why it matters: "That year" is the natural temporal expression in a past report.
- 11. Use precise transition Original: After 30 years Suggested revision: Thirty years later Why it matters: This transition relates 2001 directly to the 1971 baseline.
- 12. Name spending proportions Original: the expense to buy petrol and furniture Suggested revision: the proportions spent on petrol and furniture Why it matters: The charts show shares of total expenditure rather than the cost of buying items.
Suggested Rewrites
- petrol & furniture petrol and furniture
- reduced fell
- In 1971, British spent In 1971, British people spent
- petrol which petrol, which
- the given expense categories the categories shown
- Their expense on Furniture Spending on furniture
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its accurate reporting of nearly every category and the major decline in petrol and furniture spending over the period. Its main limitation is incomplete selection: food, which represented a sizeable share in 2001, is omitted and the rise of cars is not included in the overview; the highest-priority improvement is to summarise all major structural changes before presenting figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most values are reported accurately and important changes are identified, but the 14% food category is omitted and the new dominance of cars is absent from the overview.
Include cars becoming the largest category and food appearing at 14% as key features of the 2001 distribution.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from the overview through 1971 and then 2001, though a single block and item-by-item listing limit comparative cohesion.
Separate the overview from details and group categories by major decreases, increases, and newly appearing items.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of spending vocabulary is used, but collocations such as “expense to buy petrol” and “expenses for restaurant” are awkward.
Use “spending on petrol,” “restaurant expenditure,” and “accounted for” consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The report communicates clearly with some complex structures, but article use, noun forms, capitalization, and passive constructions are not consistently controlled.
Check determiners and plural forms, especially “Britons spent,” “furniture,” and “restaurant meals.”
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.