The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Underground Railways Systems City Date opened Kilometres of route Passengers per year (in millions) London Paris Tokyo Washington DC Kyoto Los Angeles
Sample Response
The table provided gives information on the underground railway systems in terms of the routes covered, passengers travelling annually and the year the railway system was initiated. The indicated information in the table is for six cities.
As per the table, the oldest underground railway service provider is in London and also covers the longest rail routes (1863 and 394 km of routes). On the other hand, Los Angeles is the latest as it opened in 2001 and covers the second least railway route of 28 km.
Furthermore, Tokyo railway service initiated in 1927 but consists the largest number of travellers (1927 passengers) among all other six cities, while It is Kyoto that consists of the least number of travellers (45 passengers).
Overall, two of the oldest systems are London and Paris but it is Paris and Tokyo that has a large number of passengers travelling annually; meanwhile, it is London that has the largest route travelled (394 km).
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match plural reference Original: the year the railway system was initiated Suggested revision: the years the railway systems opened Why it matters: The table gives a separate opening year for each of several systems.
- 2. Use formal linker Original: As per the table Suggested revision: According to the table Why it matters: This is the more natural formal phrase for introducing tabulated evidence.
- 3. Name the system Original: service provider Suggested revision: railway system Why it matters: The table compares transport systems rather than operating companies.
- 4. Use possessive form Original: is in London Suggested revision: is London's Why it matters: The possessive form correctly identifies which city has the oldest system.
- 5. Use singular measure Original: rail routes Suggested revision: route Why it matters: The table reports one total route length for each city.
- 6. Label values clearly Original: (1863 and 394 km of routes) Suggested revision: (opened in 1863, with 394 km of route) Why it matters: The revision identifies which value is the opening year and which is the route length.
- 7. Describe system precisely Original: Los Angeles is the latest Suggested revision: Los Angeles has the newest system Why it matters: A city itself cannot be described as the latest in this comparison.
- 8. Use length comparison Original: second least railway route Suggested revision: second-shortest railway route Why it matters: Routes are compared by length, so "shortest" is the appropriate adjective.
- 9. Add possessive subject Original: Tokyo railway service initiated Suggested revision: Tokyo's railway service opened Why it matters: The possessive form and active verb create a grammatical clause.
- 10. Use transport verb Original: consists the largest number of travellers Suggested revision: carries the largest number of passengers Why it matters: A railway carries passengers; it does not consist of them.
- 11. Include correct unit Original: 1927 passengers Suggested revision: 1,927 million passengers Why it matters: The table gives annual passengers in millions, and the value needs a thousands separator.
- 12. Remove faulty modifier Original: all other six cities Suggested revision: all six cities Why it matters: "Other" incorrectly suggests six cities in addition to Tokyo.
Suggested Rewrites
- the year the railway system was initiated the years the railway systems opened
- As per the table According to the table
- service provider railway system
- is in London is London's
- rail routes route
- (1863 and 394 km of routes) (opened in 1863, with 394 km of route)
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies several important extremes, including London’s age and route length and Tokyo’s passenger total, and it offers a recognizable overview. However, coverage is selective: Washington DC is omitted and several systems receive little or no supporting data, while passenger units are mishandled. The highest-priority improvement is to compare all six cities systematically and report figures with their correct units.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response presents a relevant overview and some accurate key figures, but it omits Washington DC, gives limited coverage of Paris, and reports passenger numbers without the required millions unit.
Cover each city through grouped comparisons and state annual passenger figures explicitly in millions, while distinguishing Tokyo’s opening year from its passenger total.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is arranged in clear stages from introduction to selected details and overview, although the repeated city-by-city pattern limits comparative development.
Organise the body by the three measures or by older and newer systems so related data can be compared within each paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing tables, but awkward collocations such as “railway service provider,” “consists the largest number,” and “route travelled” recur.
Use precise table language such as “system,” “carried the most passengers,” and “had the longest route.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally clear and some complex structures are used, but recurring article, agreement, capitalization, and verb-pattern errors weaken control.
Check subject–verb agreement and transitive patterns, especially forms such as “Tokyo’s system opened” and “Paris and Tokyo have.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Underground Railways Systems City Date opened Kilometres of route Passengers per year (in millions) London Paris Tokyo Washington DC Kyoto Los Angeles
Your response
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