The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
Sample Response
The given table provides data about the underground rail transit systems in six different cities namely London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles. The statistics provided are the year opening the railway systems, the kilometres of route and the total number of travellers per year in millions.
As is given in the table, London railway service was the first to launch compared to other five cities, i.e., in 1863, and it covers a total distance of 394 kilometres. By contrast, the city of Los Angeles has the newest underground railway, which was opened in 2001, and it falls under the second least used with mere 50 million commuters and the second shortest length with just 28 kilometers, whereas the Kyoto railway system stands at the last spot with 45 million people and 11 kilometers length respectively.
Interestingly, the Tokyo rail transit system which was built in the year 1927, has the highest number of passengers, which accounts for 1927 million followed by Paris with a large user base of 1191 million.
Overall, it can be inferred from the presentation that most of the early built and longest rail routes have significantly higher number of passengers, compared to modern and short length transit systems.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Set off the list Original: cities namely Suggested revision: cities, namely Why it matters: Namely should be preceded by a comma when it introduces the city list.
- 2. Correct the noun phrase Original: the year opening the railway systems Suggested revision: the years in which the railway systems opened Why it matters: The original phrase does not grammatically express the opening dates.
- 3. Name the measure clearly Original: the kilometres of route Suggested revision: their route lengths in kilometres Why it matters: Route lengths precisely describes the distance column.
- 4. Match the table label Original: travellers Suggested revision: passengers Why it matters: Passengers matches the terminology used for annual railway users in the table.
- 5. Add the possessive form Original: London railway service Suggested revision: London's railway system Why it matters: The possessive form correctly identifies the system belonging to London.
- 6. Use railway terminology Original: first to launch Suggested revision: earliest to open Why it matters: Railway systems open rather than launch in this context.
- 7. Add the definite article Original: other five cities Suggested revision: the other five cities Why it matters: The definite article is required because the remaining five cities are specified.
- 8. Integrate the date smoothly Original: i.e., Suggested revision: opening Why it matters: A participle connects the opening year more smoothly to the preceding comparison.
- 9. Use a direct comparison Original: falls under the second least used Suggested revision: is the second least used Why it matters: Falls under does not form a grammatical ranking expression here.
- 10. Add the article Original: mere Suggested revision: a mere Why it matters: The singular quantity phrase requires the article a.
- 11. Use the table term Original: commuters Suggested revision: passengers Why it matters: Passengers accurately names the annual figure without assuming daily commuting.
- 12. Name the route ranking Original: second shortest length Suggested revision: second-shortest route Why it matters: The revised phrase gives the route-length comparison concisely and correctly.
Suggested Rewrites
- cities namely cities, namely
- the year opening the railway systems the years in which the railway systems opened
- the kilometres of route their route lengths in kilometres
- travellers passengers
- London railway service London's railway system
- first to launch earliest to open
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is clearly organised and highlights useful extremes, including the oldest, newest, longest, shortest, busiest, and least-used systems. Its main limitation is incomplete coverage, particularly the absence of Washington DC and most route-length and opening-date comparisons. The highest-priority improvement is to group all six cities into concise comparisons so that the overview is supported by a fuller selection of data.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview is clear and the principal extremes are accurately identified, but several relevant comparisons and all Washington DC data are omitted.
Add a compact comparison covering Washington DC and the middle-ranking route lengths and dates rather than describing only the extremes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical introduction-detail-overview structure with clear progression, although one very long comparison sentence is overloaded.
Divide the Los Angeles and Kyoto comparison into shorter sentences and group details consistently by date, route length, and passenger numbers.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of transport and comparison vocabulary, but several collocations are awkward, including “year opening,” “falls under the second least used,” and “11 kilometers length.”
Use natural forms such as “opening year,” “the second least-used system,” and “a route length of 11 kilometres.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted successfully enough for meaning to remain clear, but article use, noun phrases, punctuation, and comparative constructions contain recurring errors.
Prioritise accurate articles and noun phrases, and avoid attaching several relative and contrast clauses to the same sentence.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.