The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
Sample Response
The given table shows data on underground railway system of six cities namely London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles and compares these rail stations opening date, route and passengers number. As is observed from the given data, London underground railway system was established before other railway systems of other cities and they have the largest route for this railroad. But Tokyo railway system has the highest number of passengers per year among the given cities. London railway system was established in 1863, which makes it the oldest underground railway system and it has more than 390 km route which is also the largest route among these six cities. Each year more than 700 million passengers use these underground railway stations of London. Paris underground railway system was started in 1900 and it has almost 200 km route with more than 1190 millions of passengers. Again Tokyo underground railway system has the largest passengers (more than 1900 millions) and it was established in 1927 that has 155 km of route. Kyoto underground railway system was opened in 1981 and it has the smallest route of 11 km and least passengers (45 millions) use this system among the mentioned six cities. Washington Dc and Los Angeles underground railway systems were established in 1976 and 2001 with comparatively smaller routes and few passengers. The Los Angeles underground railway system is the latest railway system in terms of the date it was opened and has the second smallest route (28 km) and passengers (50 millions). In conclusion, the oldest underground railway system is in London and Tokyo has the largest number of passengers of their underground railway system.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix number and preposition Original: underground railway system of six cities Suggested revision: underground railway systems in six cities Why it matters: The table compares multiple systems located in six different cities.
- 2. Name table measures Original: these rail stations opening date, route and passengers number Suggested revision: their opening dates, route lengths and annual passenger numbers Why it matters: These nouns accurately identify the three measures compared in the table.
- 3. Use possessive form Original: London underground railway system was established Suggested revision: London's underground railway system opened Why it matters: The possessive form correctly links the system to London, and opened matches the table heading.
- 4. Remove repetition Original: before other railway systems of other cities Suggested revision: earlier than the other systems Why it matters: This comparative phrase is concise and grammatically natural.
- 5. Fix pronoun agreement Original: they have the largest route for this railroad Suggested revision: it has the longest route Why it matters: The singular system requires it, and route length is described with longest.
- 6. Use possessive form Original: London railway system was established Suggested revision: London's railway system opened Why it matters: The possessive form and the verb opened express the relationship naturally.
- 7. Use exact route length Original: more than 390 km route Suggested revision: a 394-km route Why it matters: The table gives London's route length as exactly 394 kilometres.
- 8. Name the system Original: these underground railway stations of London Suggested revision: London's underground railway system Why it matters: The passenger figure applies to the whole system rather than a set of stations.
- 9. Use exact route length Original: it has almost 200 km route Suggested revision: it has a 199-km route Why it matters: The table supplies the precise Paris route length of 199 kilometres.
- 10. Correct passenger figure Original: with more than 1190 millions of passengers Suggested revision: with 1,191 million passengers Why it matters: The table gives 1,191 million passengers, and million remains singular after a number.
- 11. Name the total Original: the largest passengers Suggested revision: the highest annual passenger total Why it matters: Largest cannot directly describe passengers when comparing their annual number.
- 12. Correct passenger figure Original: more than 1900 millions Suggested revision: 1,927 million Why it matters: The table provides the exact Tokyo figure, and million should be singular after the number.
Suggested Rewrites
- underground railway system of six cities underground railway systems in six cities
- these rail stations opening date, route and passengers number their opening dates, route lengths and annual passenger numbers
- London underground railway system was established London's underground railway system opened
- before other railway systems of other cities earlier than the other systems
- they have the largest route for this railroad it has the longest route
- London railway system was established London's railway system opened
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response identifies the most important contrasts accurately, especially London's age and route length and Tokyo's passenger total, and it includes relevant data for five cities. Its main limitation is presentation: Washington DC's exact route and passenger figures are omitted, the report is compressed into one paragraph, and recurring noun and agreement errors reduce precision. Organise the cities into clear comparative groups and report omitted figures accurately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview highlights the principal extremes and most figures are accurate, though Washington DC is only mentioned generally and some values are unnecessarily approximate.
Include Washington DC's 126-kilometre route and 144 million passengers, and use the exact table values when space allows.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a broadly logical city-by-city sequence, but the single long paragraph and repeated overview at the end weaken organisation.
Separate the overview from two detail paragraphs, grouping the older, larger systems and the newer, smaller systems for clearer comparison.
Lexical Resource
The response has sufficient vocabulary for the task, but repetition and inaccurate collocations such as largest passengers and passengers number limit precision.
Use varied, accurate combinations such as passenger numbers, annual ridership, route length, and carried the most passengers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex structures are both used, but recurring errors with articles, plurals, agreement, possessives, and clause control are noticeable.
Check noun phrases and subject-verb agreement carefully, especially singular system references and the use of million after numerical values.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.