The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Ages and Genders in the USA.
Sample Response
The presented chart compares the number of people experiencinghaving heart attacks per year in the USA by age group and genderwith respect to their age groups and genders. As is observed from the chart, the tendency of males to have a heart attack is higher than that of females in all age groups. It is apparent that the youngest age group, which comprisesyoung age group which involves people aged 29 to 44aged from 29 to 44 has the lowest numberrate of heart attacks per year in the USA. On average, 123 thousand men and 3 thousand women have heart attacks every year. However, the middle age group, which comprisesmiddle age group which consists of people aged between 45 and 64 has a significantly higher number of heart attacksa significantly higher possibility to have a heart attack. 424,000 men424 thousand males, on average, have heart attacks every year. By comparisonOn the contrary heart attacks among womenwomen’s heart attack incidents are recorded at 136,000recorded as on 136 thousand per year in the same age groupfrom the same age group of Americans. The oldest age group records the highest numbersconstitutes the highest rates of heart attacks. Heart attacks among men average 440,000Heart attacks among males are averaged as 440 thousand whereas heart attacks among womenfemale hear attacks are 374 thousand per year. Unlike the other age groups, the gap between men and women ismale and female are substantially narrowerlargely covered in this age group. In conclusion, as people get older the risk of having heart attack increases, however in young ages men are more prone to a have a heart attack than of women.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report accurately presents every age-and-gender figure and clearly captures the two main patterns: heart-attack totals rise with age, while the gender gap narrows sharply in the oldest group. Its strongest content is therefore comprehensive and well selected, but awkward collocations and recurring grammatical errors reduce clarity; prioritise natural language for rates and comparisons and edit agreement, articles, and comparison structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All six figures are reported accurately, and the response clearly highlights both the age-related rise and the narrowing gender difference.
Refine the overview by stating directly that men remain higher in every group while the difference becomes much smaller at age 65 and above.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses logically through the three age groups and uses clear contrasts, but presenting the entire response in one paragraph weakens organisation.
Separate the overview from two detail paragraphs, grouping the younger groups before contrasting them with the oldest group.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of comparison vocabulary, but several collocations are unnatural, including “higher possibility,” “averaged as,” and “gap ... covered.”
Use precise chart language such as “higher incidence,” “stood at,” and “the gap narrowed.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the data, but agreement, article, comparison, and word-form errors occur repeatedly.
Proofread structures such as “the gap is smaller,” “prone to having a heart attack,” and “than women.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Ages and Genders in the USA.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.