The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Ages and Genders in the USA.
Sample Response
The given chart shows data on the number of the US people who suffer from heart attack dividing them into three age groups. OverallAs is observed from the given information, men have higher heart-attack figures than womenmore heart attack rates than female and both men and women aged 65 and overmen and women over 65 years old are more prone to heart attacks thanare prone to heart attack than younger age groups.
Men have more heart-attack figuresheart attach rates than women in all age groups. In the youngest groupFirstly, 123 thousand men suffer from heart attacks compared to 3 thousand womenthe 3 thousand female inwho fall under the 29 to 44 age group. Again, among the 45-to-64 age group45 to 64 years group, 424 thousand menmore than 400 thousand men have had heart attacks and this number is just over three timesalmost three times higher than the figure for womenrate among female of this age group. Finally, US people over 65 years old suffer from heart attacks more than the other two age groupsother two age groups and that exceeds 300 thousand for female and 400 thousand for men. Women in the 65+ age groupWomen in 65+ age group suffer from heart attacks significantly more than other age groups.
In conclusion, more American men suffer from heart attacks than women and this rate is higher among people aged 65 and overthe people over 65 years old.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response accurately identifies the main gender and age patterns, covers every group, and supports them with appropriate figures. Its chief weakness is recurring imprecision in language—especially treating case totals as rates, using "female" as a plural noun, and forming comparisons incorrectly—so the highest-priority improvement is to describe the chart consistently in terms of numbers of men and women and proofread comparative structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview captures both major trends, and the report accurately compares all age groups and genders with relevant data.
Increase precision by reporting the displayed totals as numbers of cases rather than calling them rates.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview, detailed comparisons, and conclusion follow a clear sequence, though the conclusion largely repeats information already stated.
Use the final paragraph for a concise synthesis or omit it, and make the detail paragraph's age-group progression do the organisational work.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but repetition and recurring inaccurate choices such as "heart attack rates," "female," and "heart attach" limit precision.
Use consistent expressions such as "number of cases," "men and women," and "heart attacks" throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The report attempts varied sentence forms, but frequent article, noun-form, comparison, and agreement errors are noticeable even though meaning remains clear.
Practise comparative patterns such as "higher than" and check plural count nouns and articles in every data sentence.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Ages and Genders in the USA.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.