The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Sample Response
The line chart delineates the changes in the number of occupations in four sectors of the economysectors of economy, namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, in the US from 1960 to 2020.from 1960 to 2020. Overall, it is obvious that the number of employees in the retail and healthcare industriesindustry witnessed an upward trend while the other two sectors decreased in general. In 1960, manufacturing had the largest number of workers whereas healthcare had the lowest figuresmallest one. However, retail and healthcare became the areas that had the most workershad most workers after six decades. In detail, individuals working in manufacturing increased from 15 million to 20 million15 millions to 20 millions by 1980, hitting its peak before falling steadilydeclining sharply to nearly 13 millionnearly 12.5 millions in 2020. In contrast, the number of jobs in agricultureAlthough the number of people in agriculture shared the similar trend, it registered a moderate downward tendency from 6 million to 3 million5.2 millions to 2.5 millions before remaining at 3 million in 2000 before dropping slightly to under 2 million in 2020stabilizing in the following two decades. When it comes to retail and healthcare sectorsdepartments, the number of staff began at 6 million and 2 million5.2 millions and 2.4 millions in 1960, surging to eventually 16 millionmillions in 2020.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response effectively provides a clear overview and logically groups key trends across all four sectors. However, minor inaccuracies in specific figure readings and mechanical errors with numerical expressions slightly reduce precision. To reach higher bands, focus on reporting visual data with precise values and correcting pluralization after numbers.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and relevant key features are presented, though several data points are slightly inaccurate.
Ensure precise reading of data points off the axis to avoid reporting slightly incorrect figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay features logical paragraphing, clear trend grouping, and appropriate cohesive devices overall.
Maintain smooth transitions when grouping disparate figures into a single body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of trend-related vocabulary is demonstrated, though minor word choice and pluralization inaccuracies recur.
Avoid using plural 'millions' directly after specific cardinal numbers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of complex sentence forms is attempted successfully, though repetitive grammatical errors in numerical expressions occur.
Consolidate structural accuracy when reporting quantities and prepositions of change.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.