The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, those three computer packages were downloaded from the internet.
Sample Response
The chart illustrates the three different language programs installed on the computer by the users in five weeks from the Internet.
Overall, it is immediately apparent from the chart that the active X software was the most downloaded program in five weeks. However, in week five, this package was consumed by the customers from the Internet more than others, while the net language program was less prevalent in the third week.
In detail, according to the first week, net packages downloaded from the Internet began nearly 32,000 times, and this ratio plummeted by 4000 in the second week. Following this, in week 3, this amount declined by around 2000 times downloaded from the world wide web. Surprisingly, this value reached a barrier of over 4000 times in a week, inspired by 5000 times of net package transferred from the Internet by the customers.
Moreover, the trend of active expects significant changes in five weeks. This program was downloaded 40,000 times in the first week, and this value crossed the line of 80,000 and touched 90,000 times availed that computer package from the Internet. Whereas in week five, the software was used around 1,20,000 times by the customers in their machines.
Furthermore, the detention of Java program packets was downloaded nearly 40,000 times from the Internet, which climbed to around 50,000 times in a week second. Following these, approximately 60,000 times the package of Java was bought from the Internet in the fourth week. Meanwhile, this value skyrocketed and peaked at 80,000 in the final week.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct name Original: active X software Suggested revision: ActiveX software Why it matters: Write the package name as the single proper name shown in the chart.
- 2. Fix time phrase Original: most downloaded program in five weeks Suggested revision: most downloaded program over the five weeks Why it matters: “Over” correctly describes the whole five-week period.
- 3. Use download verb Original: this package was consumed by the customers Suggested revision: this package was downloaded by users Why it matters: Software is downloaded rather than consumed.
- 4. Name package accurately Original: net language program Suggested revision: Net package Why it matters: The chart labels the series “Net,” not a language program.
- 5. State minimum clearly Original: less prevalent Suggested revision: downloaded least Why it matters: The chart measures download frequency, and Net has the lowest value in week three.
- 6. Fix time opener Original: according to the first week Suggested revision: in the first week Why it matters: “According to” introduces a source, not a point in time.
- 7. Use figure noun Original: ratio Suggested revision: figure Why it matters: The chart reports a download count, not a ratio.
- 8. Correct weekly change Original: plummeted by 4000 Suggested revision: fell by about 10,000 Why it matters: Net drops from roughly 35,000 downloads in week one to about 25,000 in week two.
- 9. Correct decline Original: declined by around 2000 times Suggested revision: fell by about 10,000 downloads Why it matters: Net falls from about 25,000 in week two to roughly 15,000 in week three.
- 10. Use concise term Original: world wide web Suggested revision: internet Why it matters: “Internet” is the concise term already used for the chart context.
- 11. Fix subject and verb Original: active expects Suggested revision: ActiveX showed Why it matters: Use the correct package name and a verb that agrees with the intended subject.
- 12. Clarify week-two figure Original: crossed the line of 80,000 and touched 90,000 times availed that computer package Suggested revision: rose to about 95,000 downloads Why it matters: The chart shows the ActiveX total in week two at just under 100,000.
Suggested Rewrites
- active X software ActiveX software
- most downloaded program in five weeks most downloaded program over the five weeks
- this package was consumed by the customers this package was downloaded by users
- net language program Net package
- less prevalent downloaded least
- according to the first week in the first week
Why this response received Band 5.0
The clearest strength is the paragraph structure, which separates the three packages and includes an overview identifying ActiveX as the most downloaded and Net's low point in week three. The main weakness is that numerous values and trend descriptions are inaccurate or unclear, while unsuitable word choices often obscure comparisons. Recheck each bar systematically and report the five-week patterns with simple, precise language before adding stylistic variety.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies two broad features, but several figures are inaccurate, some weeks are omitted, and parts of the Net and ActiveX trends are unclear.
Read each series across all five weeks and report its actual rise, fall, or fluctuation with accurate approximate values.
Coherence and Cohesion
Separate paragraphs for Net, ActiveX, and Java provide a recognizable structure, but progression within them is sometimes confusing and linking is mechanical.
Present each package chronologically from week one to week five and connect changes with straightforward time references.
Lexical Resource
There is some range in trend vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations such as 'consumed,' 'reached a barrier,' and 'detention' make descriptions unnatural or unclear.
Prefer precise chart terms such as 'downloaded,' 'rose to,' 'fell to,' 'remained highest,' and 'reached a peak.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors in clause structure, agreement, word forms, and fragments sometimes impede understanding.
Use complete subject-verb sentences for each comparison and proofread complex clauses before combining them.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, those three computer packages were downloaded from the internet.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.