The graph below shows the differences in wheat exports over three different areas. Wheat Exports from 1985 to 1990 (in million tonnes)
Sample Response
The line graph elucidates the wheat exportation of three regions, namely Canada, Australia and European community from 1985 to 1990. As can be seen, Canada was the leader in wheat trading till 1988 and after that, the European Community became the leading wheat exporter among the given regions. Initially, in 1985, Canada exported the highest quantity of wheat which was approximately 19 million tonnes. The wheat export in this year by the European Community was about 17 million tonnes and finally, 15 million tonnes of wheat was traded by Australia in this year. Next year, only Australia managed to export more wheat than the previous year's quantity, while it declined in the case of Canada and the European Community. In the next two years (1987 and 1988) the amount of wheat exported by Canada rocketed and reached to 25 million tonnes while it was 15 million tonnes for the European Community and far less for Australia. In 1989, the amount of wheat export by Canada dropped very sharply while it was quite the opposite for the European Community. The final year's export figure shows that European Community shipped just over 20 million tonnes of wheat compared to Canada's just below 20 million tonnes. In this year Australia consigned just over 10 million tonnes of wheat.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Overformal wording Original: elucidates the wheat exportation Suggested revision: shows wheat exports Why it matters: Shows wheat exports is the natural chart-report phrase.
- 2. Proper name capitalisation Original: European community Suggested revision: the European Community Why it matters: The organisation's full name requires the article and capitalisation.
- 3. Precise measure Original: leader in wheat trading Suggested revision: largest wheat exporter Why it matters: The graph measures export volume, not trading leadership generally.
- 4. Clarify time span Original: till 1988 Suggested revision: through 1988 Why it matters: Canada remains highest in 1988 and loses the lead in 1989.
- 5. Concise figure clause Original: which was approximately 19 million tonnes Suggested revision: at approximately 19 million tonnes Why it matters: The revised structure is more concise and avoids an unnecessary relative clause.
- 6. Use export verb Original: wheat was traded by Australia Suggested revision: Australia exported wheat Why it matters: Exported directly reflects the measure shown.
- 7. Incorrect movement Original: only Australia managed to export more wheat Suggested revision: Australia's exports rose slightly Why it matters: The graph shows Australia increasing from 15 to 16, but Canada and Europe both fell.
- 8. Introductory comma Original: In the next two years (1987 and 1988) the amount Suggested revision: In the next two years (1987 and 1988), the amount Why it matters: A comma should follow the introductory time phrase.
- 9. Wrong preposition Original: rocketed and reached to Suggested revision: rose sharply and reached Why it matters: Reach takes no to before a figure.
- 10. Different yearly values Original: while it was 15 million tonnes for the European Community Suggested revision: while the European Community recorded about 15 million tonnes in both years Why it matters: This makes clear that the European figure was stable across 1987 and 1988.
- 11. Add accurate figures Original: far less for Australia Suggested revision: about 14 million tonnes in 1987 and 13 million in 1988 for Australia Why it matters: The current phrase omits a useful downward trend and exact comparison.
- 12. Plural noun phrase Original: wheat export by Canada Suggested revision: Canada's wheat exports Why it matters: Exports is normally plural when referring to the measured volume.
Suggested Rewrites
- elucidates the wheat exportation shows wheat exports
- European community the European Community
- leader in wheat trading largest wheat exporter
- till 1988 through 1988
- which was approximately 19 million tonnes at approximately 19 million tonnes
- wheat was traded by Australia Australia exported wheat
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report presents a clear overview, selects the principal changes, and compares all three exporters with mostly accurate figures. Its main weakness is that several descriptions are imprecise or slightly inaccurate, especially Australia’s 1986 movement and the values for 1987–88, while some word choices are forced. Improve by checking each plotted point and using conventional, precise trend language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The main trends and leadership change are clearly identified, and all series are covered, though a few values and movements are inaccurately described.
Verify individual data points, especially Australia in 1986 and the three 1987–88 figures, before finalising comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview through the years, with effective comparisons, although the single paragraph and repeated time openers limit readability.
Separate the overview from two detail paragraphs and group the early and later years rather than narrating every point in one block.
Lexical Resource
Trend vocabulary is varied and generally effective, but a few items such as elucidates, trading, consigned, and reached to are unnatural in this context.
Use standard chart-report vocabulary and avoid replacing simple accurate words with less natural synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are handled with generally good control, while occasional article, punctuation, agreement, and preposition errors remain.
Proofread articles and prepositions and insert commas after introductory time phrases.