The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000.
Sample Response
The column graph compares the illiteracy rates between both sexes in six regions of the world in 2000. A quick glance at the diagram reveals that more women were unlettered globally than that of men and the percentages of uneducated people in South Asia, Arab states and Sub-Saharan Africa parts were considerably higher than other parts of the world. As is observed from the illustration, more percentages of women in different regions in the world were illiterate than that of men. Almost all of the citizens in the developed countries were literate in 2000 as the illiteracy rate in these countries was almost nill, 1-2 % to be more precise. The highest rate of illiteracy could be found in South Asia where more than half of women were not educated at all while more than one in every three males was also unschooled. Similar percentages of uneducated males and females could be found in the Arab and Sub-Saharan African regions and in all these regions the percentages of illiterate females were significantly higher than the uneducated males. On the contrary, the percentage of East Asian population who were literate was far higher than that of the South Asian population and yet the percentage of female illiteracy was more than double than that of males. Finally, the Latin America had around 10% unenlightened males and females and the gap between the unlettered males and females in this region was remarkably lower, similar to the developed countries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct comparison Original: between both sexes Suggested revision: for males and females Why it matters: Rates are compared for the two sexes, so this preposition and noun phrase are more accurate.
- 2. Clarify gender comparison Original: more women were unlettered globally than that of men Suggested revision: female illiteracy was higher worldwide than male illiteracy Why it matters: This replacement uses the chart's measure directly and creates a grammatically parallel comparison.
- 3. Correct region name Original: Sub-Saharan Africa parts Suggested revision: Sub-Saharan Africa Why it matters: The chart labels the region as Sub-Saharan Africa without adding parts.
- 4. Fix rate comparison Original: more percentages of women in different regions in the world were illiterate than that of men Suggested revision: female illiteracy rates were higher than male rates in every region Why it matters: Higher rates, rather than more percentages, is the correct comparative structure.
- 5. Correct spelling Original: nill Suggested revision: nil Why it matters: Nil is the correct spelling, although the chart more precisely shows a very low rate.
- 6. Format the range Original: 1-2 % Suggested revision: 1–2% Why it matters: Use a compact percentage range that accurately reflects the two very low bars.
- 7. Use chart terminology Original: unschooled Suggested revision: illiterate Why it matters: Illiterate matches the variable measured by the chart more precisely than unschooled.
- 8. Compare equivalent rates Original: than the uneducated males Suggested revision: than the corresponding male rates Why it matters: The comparison must be between female and male rates rather than between percentages and people.
- 9. Use standard chart label Original: column graph Suggested revision: bar chart Why it matters: Bar chart is the conventional term for this visual format.
- 10. Signal the overview Original: A quick glance at the diagram reveals that Suggested revision: Overall, the chart shows that Why it matters: An explicit overview marker makes the main trends easier to identify.
- 11. Name the measured rate Original: the percentages of uneducated people Suggested revision: illiteracy rates Why it matters: The chart measures illiteracy rates, so this concise term is more precise.
- 12. Use chart categories Original: other parts of the world Suggested revision: the other regions Why it matters: The chart compares six defined regions rather than unspecified parts of the world.
Suggested Rewrites
- between both sexes for males and females
- more women were unlettered globally than that of men female illiteracy was higher worldwide than male illiteracy
- Sub-Saharan Africa parts Sub-Saharan Africa
- more percentages of women in different regions in the world were illiterate than that of men female illiteracy rates were higher than male rates in every region
- nill nil
- 1-2 % 1–2%
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response identifies the dominant gender pattern and the regions with the highest and lowest illiteracy, using several relevant comparisons. Its main limitation is uneven precision: some regional figures are only loosely described, and awkward comparative grammar occasionally obscures otherwise accurate observations. Prioritise reporting a few exact values for the major regions and expressing male-female comparisons with cleaner structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate identification of the main regional and gender patterns provide good task coverage, though several comparisons lack precise figures.
Support the overview with exact values for South Asia, the Arab States, Sub-Saharan Africa, and East Asia to make the key comparisons more precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overall pattern to regional details, but the single long paragraph and some overloaded sentences weaken clarity.
Separate the overview from two grouped detail paragraphs and keep each sentence focused on one comparison.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably broad vocabulary for literacy and comparison, although choices such as 'unlettered' and 'unenlightened' are imprecise in this context.
Prefer consistent academic terms such as 'illiterate', 'illiteracy rate', and 'proportion' instead of forced synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, but recurring errors affect comparisons, articles, and agreement.
Practise accurate comparison forms such as 'higher than that for men' and 'more than double the male rate'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.