The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. Estimated World illiteracy rates, by region and gender, 2000.
Sample Response
The given bar chart shows the approximate world illiteracy rates by gender and region for the year 2000. As is observed in the given column graph, in all cases, the illiteracy rate among women was higher than men. Developed countries had almost ignorable illiteracy rate. On the contrary, about half of the population in South Asia, Arab states and Africa were illiterate.
The illiteracy rate in Latin America / Caribbean and East Asia / Oceania was only 1 percent (approximately), 10 percent and 14 percent (approximately) respectively considering both male and female. Sub-Saharan Africa, the Arab States and South Asia had rates of approximately 40%, 41% and 45%. Illiterate women were higher than the illiterate men in all the given countries.
In the developed countries, the proportion of literacy among men and female was almost similar but the differences increased for Asia, Arab states and Africa. Among the given 6 countries, the South Asian population were far more illiterate than any other country.
(Approximately 16 3 words)
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise chart reference Original: As is observed in the given column graph Suggested revision: As the chart shows Why it matters: The shorter reference is clearer and avoids repeating "given."
- 2. Compare equivalent nouns Original: illiteracy rate among women was higher than men Suggested revision: illiteracy rate among women was higher than that among men Why it matters: A rate must be compared with another rate rather than directly with men.
- 3. Use accurate adjective Original: almost ignorable Suggested revision: negligible Why it matters: "Ignorable" is unnatural for describing a very small statistical value.
- 4. Use contrast connector Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The sentence contrasts regions rather than contradicting the preceding statement.
- 5. Identify regions correctly Original: all the given countries Suggested revision: all the regions shown Why it matters: The chart categories are regions, not individual countries.
- 6. Keep measured variable Original: the proportion of literacy Suggested revision: the illiteracy rate Why it matters: The chart measures illiteracy rather than literacy.
- 7. Use parallel plurals Original: among men and female Suggested revision: among males and females Why it matters: Coordinated group labels should use parallel plural forms.
- 8. Remove contradictory modifier Original: was almost similar Suggested revision: was similar Why it matters: "Similar" already expresses resemblance and does not combine naturally with "almost" here.
- 9. Name gender gaps Original: the differences increased Suggested revision: the gender gaps were larger Why it matters: The chart compares categories at one time, so the gaps do not increase over time.
- 10. Use location preposition Original: for Asia, Arab states and Africa Suggested revision: in Asian, Arab and African regions Why it matters: Differences occur "in" regions, and parallel adjectives clarify the geographic groups.
- 11. Use region category Original: the given 6 countries Suggested revision: the six regions shown Why it matters: All six labels are broad regions or development groups rather than countries.
- 12. Fix collective agreement Original: were Suggested revision: was Why it matters: "Population" is singular in this construction and takes "was."
Suggested Rewrites
- As is observed in the given column graph As the chart shows
- illiteracy rate among women was higher than men illiteracy rate among women was higher than that among men
- almost ignorable negligible
- On the contrary By contrast
- all the given countries all the regions shown
- the proportion of literacy the illiteracy rate
Why this response received Band 5.5
The report’s strongest feature is its recognition that female illiteracy is higher in every region and that the highest rates occur in South Asia, the Arab States, and Sub-Saharan Africa. Its main limitation is inaccurate and unclear handling of regional figures and gender comparisons; the highest-priority improvement is to report separate male and female percentages for selected regions rather than inventing combined averages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview identifies the broad gender gap and high- and low-rate regions, but several figures are combined inaccurately and key male–female comparisons are not developed.
Compare the two bars directly in selected regions, such as about 34% versus 55% in South Asia and roughly 1% in developed countries.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is divided into sensible overview and detail stages, although unclear lists and repeated conclusions weaken progression.
Organise the details from lowest to highest regions and give each region one complete male–female comparison.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing rates, but choices such as “ignorable,” “illiterate women were higher,” and calling regions “countries” reduce precision.
Use “negligible,” “female illiteracy was higher,” and “regions” consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is mostly clear, but agreement, article, parallel-list, and comparative errors occur repeatedly.
Check plural agreement and comparison structures, especially “the South Asian population was” and “higher than that of men.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. Estimated World illiteracy rates, by region and gender, 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.