The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. Estimated World illiteracy rates, by region and gender, 2000.
Sample Response
The bar chart compares the ratio of uneducated population, divided by sex, in six regions of the world in 2000. Overall, illiteracy rates were the highest in Sub-Saharan Africa, Arab countries and South Asia and close to zero in developed nations. However, there were more illiterate women than men in all regions. Men and women, unable to read or write, made up only 1% and 2% in developed countries. In comparison, the proportions of illiterate citizens in Latin America and the Caribbean were higher, 10% and 11%. In East Asia and Oceania, however, the gap was enormous; there were 20% illiterate females compared to 8% males. As regards the other regions, Sub-Saharan Africa had much greater proportions of the unschooled population, 48% women and 30% men. A similar proportion was seen in Arab states, where illiteracy rates were 53% and 28% respectively for females and males. It is noticeable that more than half of their females and one-quarter males never received any formal education. However, South Asia stood out as having the worst illiteracy figures for both sexes; 55% females versus 34% males. [Writtne by - Eynar Hajizadeh ]
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the measured group Original: ratio of uneducated population Suggested revision: proportion of the illiterate population Why it matters: The chart measures inability to read and write, which is not equivalent to being uneducated.
- 2. Use chart terminology Original: divided Suggested revision: grouped Why it matters: 'Grouped by' describes how the two data series are organised more precisely.
- 3. Remove false contrast Original: However, there were Suggested revision: There were Why it matters: The gender pattern supports the preceding overview rather than contrasting with it.
- 4. Quantify the gap Original: gap was enormous Suggested revision: gap was 12 percentage points Why it matters: The chart supports the precise difference between 20% for females and 8% for males.
- 5. Avoid unsupported meaning Original: unschooled Suggested revision: illiterate Why it matters: 'Unschooled' implies a lack of schooling, while the chart reports illiteracy.
- 6. Use plural proportions Original: A similar proportion was seen Suggested revision: Similar proportions were seen Why it matters: The sentence compares separate female and male percentages, so the noun and verb should be plural.
- 7. Complete percentage phrases Original: 55% females versus 34% males Suggested revision: 55% of females compared with 34% of males Why it matters: Each percentage needs an 'of' phrase to identify the relevant population.
- 8. Delete source attribution Original: [Writtne by - Eynar Hajizadeh ] Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: An author credit is irrelevant to the task response and includes a spelling error.
- 9. Rank regions precisely Original: illiteracy rates were the highest in Sub-Saharan Africa, Arab countries and South Asia and close to zero in developed nations Suggested revision: illiteracy rates were highest in South Asia, were also high in Sub-Saharan Africa and the Arab states, and were close to zero in developed nations Why it matters: South Asia has the highest bars overall, while the other two regions form the next high group.
- 10. Remove misplaced phrase Original: Men and women, unable to read or write, made up Suggested revision: Illiterate men and women made up Why it matters: The concise adjective avoids a misplaced non-restrictive phrase that appears to describe all men and women.
- 11. Complete percentage clauses Original: 20% illiterate females compared to 8% males Suggested revision: 20% of females were illiterate, compared with 8% of males Why it matters: Each percentage needs an 'of' phrase and an explicit verb to form a complete comparison.
- 12. Correct Arab States values Original: where illiteracy rates were 53% and 28% respectively for females and males Suggested revision: where illiteracy rates were approximately 52% for females and 29% for males Why it matters: The chart places the female and male figures at about 52% and 29%, respectively.
Suggested Rewrites
- ratio of uneducated population proportion of the illiterate population
- divided grouped
- However, there were There were
- gap was enormous gap was 12 percentage points
- unschooled illiterate
- A similar proportion was seen Similar proportions were seen
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a strong overview and reports the male-female pattern and regional figures comprehensively and accurately. Its main limitation is presentation: all information appears in one paragraph, some linking is repetitive, and a few lexical and grammatical choices are imprecise. Prioritise a clear overview-detail paragraph structure and remove the irrelevant attribution line while preserving the effective comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and supporting details accurately cover all six regions and the consistent gender gap, with only a small unsupported interpretation about schooling.
Keep interpretations strictly tied to illiteracy and omit the irrelevant attribution appended to the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The comparisons progress logically from low-rate to high-rate regions, though one long paragraph and repeated use of 'however' reduce cohesion.
Use separate overview and detail paragraphs and vary linking so that contrasts arise from the data rather than repeated connectors.
Lexical Resource
A broad range of comparative vocabulary is used effectively, with occasional imprecision in terms such as 'uneducated,' 'unschooled,' and 'similar proportion.'
Use 'illiterate population' consistently and describe the Arab states as showing a similar gender pattern rather than a similar proportion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally accurate and clear, although a few article, quantifier, and noun-phrase errors remain.
Refine forms such as '20% of females' and 'one-quarter of males,' and remove the misspelled attribution line.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000. Estimated World illiteracy rates, by region and gender, 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.