You have taken a cruise on a holiday and have been disappointed with the experience. Write a letter to the cruise provider. In your letter, say: - what went wrong - how you felt about it - what do you want to be done about it
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently taken a cruise provided by your company on a holiday in Belarus. But the experience was below standard. I am writing to bring your attention to this unsatisfactory experience that I had with the Rose Cruises on March 17, 2025. Regrettably, the boat was battered and small - contrary to what was advertised. It departed at least 40 minutes later than the scheduled time. Moreover, it was cold inside but when all the passengers boarded, the windows became drizzled due to poor ventilation, which made it impossible to enjoy the views. Furthermore, even though we were promised a private table, we could not find one and no one came forward to explain it! The place was so crowded that we had a hard time moving from one place to another. Enough service persons were not present and we had to wait around 30 minutes to get our breakfast which was served cold. This was a stressful experience for both me and my wife. I do not feel that is unreasonable to expect a full refund of the money paid to you following the misrepresentation of what Rose Cruises were offering. We expect, therefore, a refund of the full €300. Yours faithfully, Tom Behan
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the simple past Original: I have recently taken Suggested revision: I recently took Why it matters: The completed cruise at a stated past time requires the simple past.
- 2. Use the natural phrase Original: on Suggested revision: during Why it matters: “During a holiday” naturally places the cruise within the holiday period.
- 3. Use a formal contrast Original: But the experience Suggested revision: However, the experience Why it matters: “However” provides a smoother formal contrast with the preceding cruise detail.
- 4. Use precise wording Original: below standard Suggested revision: below an acceptable standard Why it matters: The revision states clearly that the service failed to meet a reasonable standard.
- 5. Correct the phrase order Original: bring your attention to this unsatisfactory experience Suggested revision: bring this unsatisfactory experience to your attention Why it matters: The fixed expression is “bring something to someone's attention”.
- 6. Remove the article Original: the Rose Cruises Suggested revision: Rose Cruises Why it matters: The cruise company's proper name does not require the definite article.
- 7. Use formal date style Original: on March 17, 2025 Suggested revision: on 17 March 2025 Why it matters: This is the standard formal British date style for written correspondence.
- 8. Describe the condition precisely Original: battered Suggested revision: worn Why it matters: “Worn” naturally describes a boat whose condition was poorer than advertised.
- 9. Use a proper dash Original: small - contrary Suggested revision: small—contrary Why it matters: An em dash correctly marks the contrast without the spaced hyphen.
- 10. Specify the departure delay Original: later than the scheduled time Suggested revision: after the scheduled departure time Why it matters: The replacement makes clear that the stated delay concerns departure.
- 11. Clarify the reference Original: explain it Suggested revision: explain the situation Why it matters: Naming the situation removes the vague pronoun and clarifies what required explanation.
- 12. Name the vessel Original: place Suggested revision: boat Why it matters: “Boat” precisely identifies the crowded location being described.
Suggested Rewrites
- I have recently taken I recently took
- on during
- But the experience However, the experience
- below standard below an acceptable standard
- bring your attention to this unsatisfactory experience bring this unsatisfactory experience to your attention
- the Rose Cruises Rose Cruises
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter’s strongest feature is its complete, persuasive coverage of the disappointing cruise, including specific problems, the writer’s reaction, and a precise refund request in a suitably formal tone. Its main limitation is occasional awkward wording and sentence construction, which slightly reduces naturalness despite consistently clear meaning. The highest-priority improvement is to replace imprecise phrases with idiomatic formal English and proofread complex sentences for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter clearly fulfils its complaint purpose, develops every bullet point with specific detail, and maintains an appropriate formal tone.
Strengthen the request further by adding a clear deadline or preferred method for receiving the €300 refund.
Coherence and Cohesion
The complaints progress logically from the cruise’s physical shortcomings to service failures, emotional impact, and the requested resolution.
Use distinct paragraphs for the background, problems, and resolution, while reducing the reliance on additive linking words.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and specific for a formal complaint, although a few choices such as 'windows became drizzled' and 'service persons' are unnatural.
Replace awkward collocations with idiomatic alternatives such as 'the windows fogged up' and 'there were too few staff members'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of sentence forms is used with generally secure control, and the remaining errors do not impede communication.
Proofread clause structure and reference words, particularly changing 'I do not feel that is unreasonable' to 'I do not feel that it is unreasonable'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have taken a cruise on a holiday and have been disappointed with the experience. Write a letter to the cruise provider. In your letter, say:
- what went wrong
- how you felt about it
- what do you want to be done about it
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.