You cannot go to a company where you received a job offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor. In your letter: - explain why you are declining the offer - express your gratitude - explain why you like your current job very much
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to thank you for considering me as a suitable candidate for the position of Assistant Manager in your organisation and in fact, I was eagerly waiting for your call. I, however, cannot accept the offer due to some specific reasons. I sincerely apologise that I would not be able to join your organisation. There are a couple of reasons why I am declining this offer: one of them is the job location and the other is the proposed remuneration. I have to drop off my children at their schools daily and that is why commuting a long distance to reach my office is inconvenient for me. I find my current job more exciting and rewarding. In my current job, I have flexible timing which allows me to keep a balance between my personal and professional life. Also, I am due for a promotion this year and I am expecting a managerial role to come my way soon. The roles and responsibilities of this new position would be very challenging and a known team with whom I have been working for a long would be an advantage. I would like to thank you again for the job offer but I would like to stay with my current organisation and I am humbly declining your offer. Wishing your superb team members all the best. Yours sincerely, Sam Johnson
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Set off interrupter Original: and in fact, Suggested revision: and, in fact, Why it matters: The interrupting phrase needs a comma before as well as after it.
- 2. Use natural wording Original: remuneration Suggested revision: salary Why it matters: “Salary” is clearer and more natural than the overly formal “remuneration” here.
- 3. Use standard collocation Original: flexible timing Suggested revision: flexible working hours Why it matters: “Flexible working hours” is the standard expression for this employment benefit.
- 4. Improve collocation Original: keep Suggested revision: maintain Why it matters: “Maintain a balance” is a more natural collocation in this formal context.
- 5. Use formal register Original: I am humbly declining Suggested revision: I must respectfully decline Why it matters: “Respectfully decline” conveys polite refusal more naturally in a formal letter.
- 6. Sentence rewrite Original: I sincerely apologise that I would not be able to join your organisation. Suggested revision: I sincerely apologise, but I will not be able to join your organisation. Why it matters: The original complement after “apologise” is awkward, and “will” correctly expresses the confirmed decision.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: The roles and responsibilities of this new position would be very challenging and a known team with whom I have been working for a long would be an advantage. Suggested revision: The new role would be challenging, and continuing to work with a team I have known for a long time would be an advantage. Why it matters: This rewrite fixes the incomplete time expression and makes the two advantages easier to follow.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Wishing your superb team members all the best. Suggested revision: I wish you and your team all the best. Why it matters: The original is a sentence fragment and uses an unnatural adjective for the recipients.
- 9. Explain salary concern Suggested revision: Briefly explain why the proposed salary makes the offer unsuitable, just as the location concern is explained. Why it matters: The letter names remuneration as a reason for declining but does not develop that reason.
- 10. Use letter paragraphs Suggested revision: Separate the opening, reasons for declining, advantages of the current job, and closing into distinct paragraphs. Why it matters: The single continuous paragraph makes the letter's stages harder to scan.
Suggested Rewrites
- and in fact, and, in fact,
- remuneration salary
- flexible timing flexible working hours
- keep maintain
- I am humbly declining I must respectfully decline
- I sincerely apologise that I would not be able to join your organisation. I sincerely apologise, but I will not be able to join your organisation.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter fulfils its purpose convincingly, covering the refusal, gratitude, and attractions of the current job in a consistently professional tone. Its main weakness is presentation: the response is overlong for the task, remains in one paragraph, and includes several awkward phrases near the end. Prioritise concise paragraphing that separates the refusal reasons from the explanation of the current role.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are fully developed, and the formal, appreciative tone is well suited to an HR supervisor.
Tighten the final section so the gratitude and refusal are expressed once, without repeating information already made clear.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from gratitude and refusal to reasons and current-job benefits, but the single long paragraph limits structural clarity.
Divide the letter into focused paragraphs for the opening purpose, refusal reasons, current-job advantages, and closing.
Lexical Resource
A strong range of precise workplace vocabulary is used, with only occasional awkward collocations and unnecessary formality.
Refine phrases such as 'flexible timing', 'a known team', and 'humbly declining' into more natural professional English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The letter uses varied complex structures with generally good control, although a few constructions and the closing fragment are awkward.
Revise the sentence about the future role and established team, and use a complete final goodwill sentence.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You cannot go to a company where you received a job offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor. In your letter:
- explain why you are declining the offer
- express your gratitude
- explain why you like your current job very much
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.