You cannot go to a company where you received a job offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor. In your letter: - explain why you are declining the offer - express your gratitude - explain why you like your current job very much
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have been offered a job at your company as a Business Executive and I would like to profoundly thank you for such an opportunity. It is, however, a matter of regret that I must decline your generous offer and apologise for any inconvenience caused due to this. I appreciate immensely the interview organised by your company and the extensive effort of all the staff involved. Their attitude was impressive and highly commendable. As such I must pass my sincerest apologies for any difficulties related to the extra work that must have been involved, and the time wasted on your behalf. Although the offer was substantial, it was not enough to encourage me to sever the bonds with my current employer. During my time at my present company, my superiors supported me tremendously and fostered my career. In short, they made me the employee I am today. I love my work here and would not leave them only for a slight salary increase. I would like to keep the lines of communication open between us and look forward to further correspondence. Yours faithfully, Juan Carter
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural gratitude Original: profoundly Suggested revision: sincerely Why it matters: 'Sincerely thank you' is a more natural expression of formal gratitude.
- 2. Fix cause construction Original: caused due to this Suggested revision: this may cause Why it matters: This replacement creates the standard phrase 'any inconvenience this may cause'.
- 3. Natural adverb placement Original: appreciate immensely Suggested revision: greatly appreciate Why it matters: 'Greatly appreciate' is the more natural formal collocation.
- 4. Correct apology collocation Original: pass Suggested revision: offer Why it matters: English speakers normally 'offer' apologies rather than 'pass' them.
- 5. Clarify intended meaning Original: the time wasted on your behalf Suggested revision: the time your team has spent Why it matters: The original phrase wrongly suggests that the recipient's time was wasted for their own benefit.
- 6. Improve career collocation Original: fostered my career Suggested revision: nurtured my professional development Why it matters: This phrase expresses the employer's support for the writer's growth more naturally.
- 7. Fix reference and emphasis Original: leave them only for Suggested revision: leave my current role solely for Why it matters: 'Them' ambiguously refers to people, while the writer means leaving the current job.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Although the offer was substantial, it was not enough to encourage me to sever the bonds with my current employer. Suggested revision: Although I greatly appreciate the offer, the proposed salary increase is not sufficient to justify leaving my current employer. Why it matters: This revision removes the contradiction between calling the offer substantial here and the salary increase slight later.
- 9. Group related content Suggested revision: Use separate paragraphs for declining the offer, expressing gratitude, explaining loyalty to the current job, and closing the letter. Why it matters: Grouping each communicative purpose would give the formal letter a clearer progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- profoundly sincerely
- caused due to this this may cause
- appreciate immensely greatly appreciate
- pass offer
- the time wasted on your behalf the time your team has spent
- fostered my career nurtured my professional development
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response achieves its purpose convincingly, covering gratitude, the decision to decline, and loyalty to the current employer in a consistently formal voice. The main limitation is that some expressions are overly elaborate or imprecise, and the single-block structure weakens visual organisation; prioritise natural professional phrasing and clear paragraph divisions to improve readability and credibility.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter clearly declines the offer, expresses substantial gratitude, and gives a well-developed reason for remaining with the current employer.
State the decision and its central reason a little more directly, avoiding excessive apology that may distract from the communicative purpose.
Coherence and Cohesion
The message follows a clear sequence and cohesive devices are used effectively, though the lack of visible paragraphing makes the response unnecessarily dense.
Separate the opening decision, appreciation, reasons for staying, and closing into purposeful paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A wide and flexible vocabulary supports a professional tone, but collocations such as "profoundly thank you" and "pass my sincerest apologies" sound strained.
Prefer natural business-letter expressions such as "thank you sincerely" and "offer my sincere apologies" while retaining the strong lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and errors are rare and do not impede communication.
Polish minor reference and preposition choices, particularly when referring consistently to the current employer and its staff.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You cannot go to a company where you received a job offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor. In your letter:
- explain why you are declining the offer
- express your gratitude
- explain why you like your current job very much
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.