You cannot go to a company where you received a job offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor. In your letter: - explain why you are declining the offer - express your gratitude - explain why you like your current job very much
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have been offered a job at your company as a Business Executive and I would like to profoundly thank you for such an opportunity. It is, however, a matter of regret that I must decline your generous offer and apologise for any inconvenience caused due to this. I appreciate immensely the interview organised by your company and the extensive effort of all the staff involved. Their attitude was impressive and highly commendable. As such I must pass my sincerest apologies for any difficulties related to the extra work that must have been involved, and the time wasted on your behalf. Although the offer was substantial, it was not enough to encourage me to sever the bonds with my current employer. During my time at my present company, my superiors supported me tremendously and fostered my career. In short, they made me the employee I am today. I love my work here and would not leave them only for a slight salary increase. I would like to keep the lines of communication open between us and look forward to further correspondence. Yours faithfully, Juan Carter
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural gratitude Original: profoundly Suggested revision: sincerely Why it matters: Sincerely is the natural formal adverb for expressing gratitude in a letter.
- 2. Correct cause phrase Original: caused due to this Suggested revision: this may cause Why it matters: The revision removes the redundant and ungrammatical combination caused due to.
- 3. Place adverb naturally Original: appreciate immensely the interview Suggested revision: greatly appreciate the interview Why it matters: A degree adverb belongs naturally before appreciate in this phrase.
- 4. Add transition comma Original: As such I Suggested revision: As such, I Why it matters: The introductory connector should be followed by a comma.
- 5. Use offer apologies Original: pass my sincerest apologies Suggested revision: offer my sincere apologies Why it matters: Offer apologies is the standard collocation in a formal letter.
- 6. Correct perspective Original: time wasted on your behalf Suggested revision: time spent on my behalf Why it matters: The company spent time for the applicant's benefit, so on my behalf expresses the intended relationship.
- 7. Avoid dramatic phrasing Original: sever the bonds with Suggested revision: leave Why it matters: Leave states the employment decision more directly and professionally.
- 8. Clarify career support Original: fostered my career Suggested revision: supported my career development Why it matters: The revised collocation describes professional growth more naturally.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: I love my work here and would not leave them only for a slight salary increase. Suggested revision: I love my current job and would not leave my employer merely for a slight salary increase. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the unclear pronoun reference and places the limiting adverb naturally.
- 10. Organise the response Suggested revision: Separate the decision and thanks from the explanation of why you value your current job. Why it matters: Distinct paragraphs would make the letter's purpose and supporting reason easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- profoundly sincerely
- caused due to this this may cause
- appreciate immensely the interview greatly appreciate the interview
- As such I As such, I
- pass my sincerest apologies offer my sincere apologies
- time wasted on your behalf time spent on my behalf
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter fulfils its purpose clearly and professionally, giving substantial thanks and a convincing explanation of loyalty to the current employer. Its main limitation is an overly elaborate, apologetic style, with a few unnatural combinations that slightly reduce precision despite strong overall control. Prioritise a more concise explanation of the decision and use natural formal collocations throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three requirements are fully addressed in a consistently formal letter, with clear gratitude and a well-developed reason for declining.
Make the response more efficient by reducing the extended apology and stating the decisive reason for declining more directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear progression from thanks and refusal to the reasons for staying, and cohesive devices are used effectively.
Use separate paragraphs for gratitude, the decision, and the current-job explanation to make the structure even easier to scan.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is broad and suitably formal, although several elaborate expressions sound unnatural or imprecise.
Prefer natural business collocations such as 'sincerely apologise' and 'time spent by your staff' over inflated combinations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is handled accurately, with only minor awkwardness and no loss of clarity.
Polish preposition and reference choices in phrases such as 'inconvenience caused by this' and 'would not leave my employer'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You cannot go to a company where you received a job offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor. In your letter:
- explain why you are declining the offer
- express your gratitude
- explain why you like your current job very much
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.