You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter: - describe the problem with the equipment? - explain what happened - when you phoned the shop? - say what you would like the manager to do?

Same question Compare 7 different answers (Band 6.5–8)

Sample Response

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am Ankitha, and I am writing this letter to express my discontent regarding the microwave oven which was bought earlier this week in your merchandise. Unfortunately, it did not commence its operation despite its warranty of five years when I installed it in my home.

Hence, I informed one of the electricians in our apartment to look into the issue. After a thorough examination, he informed me that there is a lack of power supply to the oven, and it is unable to draw electric current into the machine. He also advised that an extra cord is required for the connection.

In order to inform you about these issues, I have been trying to reach out to you for the past 24 hours and calling your store intermittently. However, there is no response from your end, and your line is engaged all the time.

Thus I request you to arrange a free consultation to visit my place and look into the problem. Furthermore, as suggested by the electrician, another power cord is required and inform your attendee to procure it before visiting my place. Please provide me with an alternative number to reach out to you.

I hope for a prompt response.

Yours faithfully,

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Use natural introduction Original: I am Ankitha Suggested revision: My name is Ankitha Why it matters: This is a more natural way to introduce yourself in a formal letter.
  • 2. Correct shop reference Original: in your merchandise Suggested revision: from your shop Why it matters: Merchandise means goods and cannot refer to the place where the oven was bought.
  • 3. Use direct wording Original: did not commence its operation Suggested revision: did not work Why it matters: This simpler phrase expresses the equipment fault more naturally.
  • 4. Clarify contrast Original: despite its warranty of five years Suggested revision: even though it has a five-year warranty Why it matters: The original despite phrase does not connect logically to the full clause.
  • 5. Use correct verb Original: informed Suggested revision: asked Why it matters: Ask, rather than inform, is needed before an object followed by an infinitive request.
  • 6. Keep reported tense Original: there is a lack of power supply Suggested revision: there was no power supply Why it matters: Past tense is needed within this report of the electrician's earlier finding.
  • 7. Use natural collocation Original: draw electric current into the machine Suggested revision: receive power Why it matters: Receive power expresses the electrical problem more naturally and concisely.
  • 8. Remove unnecessary wording Original: writing this letter Suggested revision: writing Why it matters: The word letter is redundant because the format is already clear.
  • 9. Use direct complaint Original: express my discontent regarding Suggested revision: complain about Why it matters: This phrase states the complaint more directly and naturally.
  • 10. Use active ownership Original: was Suggested revision: I Why it matters: The active form clearly identifies the customer who purchased the oven.
  • 11. Clarify location Original: in our apartment Suggested revision: in my apartment building Why it matters: This wording clearly identifies where the electrician works or lives.
  • 12. Use present perfect Original: there is no response from your end Suggested revision: I have received no response Why it matters: The present perfect connects the unanswered calls with the current complaint.

Suggested Rewrites

  • I am Ankitha My name is Ankitha
  • in your merchandise from your shop
  • did not commence its operation did not work
  • despite its warranty of five years even though it has a five-year warranty
  • informed asked
  • there is a lack of power supply there was no power supply
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The letter is clearly organised, appropriately formal, and successfully explains the faulty microwave, the unsuccessful contact attempts, and the requested remedy. Its main weakness is frequent unnatural wording and some grammatical imprecision, which make otherwise clear details sound strained. The highest priority is to replace forced expressions with direct, idiomatic language while stating the purchase, fault, phone call, and desired action more precisely.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.0
Scoring rule

The letter maintains an appropriate formal tone and addresses the equipment problem, the attempted contact, and the requested action with relevant supporting detail.

Next step

State the exact purchase date and the first phone call more directly, and clarify whether a repair, replacement, or refund is preferred.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

Information progresses logically through the fault, investigation, contact attempts, and requested solution, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.

Next step

Use fewer formulaic linkers and make the transition from the electrician’s findings to the requested remedy more direct.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The response shows sufficient range for a complaint, but frequent awkward collocations such as “in your merchandise” and “commence its operation” reduce precision and naturalness.

Next step

Prefer common, exact phrases such as “bought from your store,” “would not switch on,” and “send a technician.”

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

The writer uses varied sentence forms and generally communicates clearly, though article, preposition, and clause-control errors recur in several sentences.

Next step

Review sentence structure around requests and instructions, especially the incomplete construction beginning “another power cord is required and inform.”

Put the feedback to work

Write this task while it is fresh

Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.

IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter:

- describe the problem with the equipment?

- explain what happened

- when you phoned the shop?

- say what you would like the manager to do?

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.