You have just spent a weekend staying at the Lilo Hotel in Adelaide. When you got home, you find that you have left a bag at the hotel. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter: - introduce yourself - describe the bag and its content - describe how you left your bag and what action you would expect from him/her
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Martin Ben, and I am writing this letter to inform you that I have left a bag at your hotel before leaving Adelaide. Unfortunately, I came to know about this mistake only after arriving at Sydney Airport. I stayed in room number 221, and I might have left the bag in one of the closed cabinets of the TV stand. Now, to describe the bag for your convenience, it is a small, black handbag for men, and it has a single white colour belt. As for its contents, the bag has some precious drawings of my little niece, who drew them for me. Besides, it also has a few precious gifts which were chosen and bought by my family members. So the little bag is priceless to me because of its emotional value. So, once you find the bag, please send it to me in a courier mail service. And, also please do not forget to charge the courier fee from my credit card. By the way, the credit card information should in on your file. Yours faithfully, Martin Ben
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Time wording Original: I have left a bag at your hotel before leaving Adelaide Suggested revision: I left a bag at your hotel before leaving Adelaide Why it matters: Simple past is better for this completed event.
- 2. Natural discovery Original: came to know about this mistake Suggested revision: realised this mistake Why it matters: This is more natural in English.
- 3. Likely location Original: one of the closed cabinets Suggested revision: one of the cabinets Why it matters: 'Closed' is unnecessary because cabinets are normally closed.
- 4. Natural item name Original: a small, black handbag for men Suggested revision: a small black men's handbag Why it matters: This is a more idiomatic description.
- 5. Bag feature Original: a single white colour belt Suggested revision: a single white strap Why it matters: Bags usually have a strap, not a belt.
- 6. Relative clause comma Original: it also has a few precious gifts which were chosen Suggested revision: it also contains a few precious gifts, which were chosen Why it matters: The nonessential extra information is clearer with a comma and 'contains'.
- 7. Avoid repeated So Original: So the little bag is priceless Suggested revision: For that reason, the little bag is priceless Why it matters: This improves cohesion and avoids repeated sentence starts.
- 8. More formal link Original: So, once you find the bag Suggested revision: Once you find the bag Why it matters: The sentence does not need 'So'.
- 9. Courier phrase Original: send it to me in a courier mail service Suggested revision: send it to me by courier Why it matters: This is the natural collocation.
- 10. Remove clumsy link Original: And, also please do not forget Suggested revision: Please also do not forget Why it matters: The original opening is awkward.
- 11. Serious typo Original: the credit card information should in on your file Suggested revision: the credit card information should be on file Why it matters: The verb 'be' is missing and 'in on' is incorrect.
- 12. Payment wording Original: charge the courier fee from my credit card Suggested revision: charge the courier fee to my credit card Why it matters: Fees are charged to a card.
Suggested Rewrites
- I have left a bag at your hotel before leaving Adelaide I left a bag at your hotel before leaving Adelaide
- came to know about this mistake realised this mistake
- one of the closed cabinets one of the cabinets
- a small, black handbag for men a small black men's handbag
- a single white colour belt a single white strap
- it also has a few precious gifts which were chosen it also contains a few precious gifts, which were chosen
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter introduces the guest, describes the bag and contents, explains where it was left, and asks the hotel to send it by courier. The task is fully addressed, though the requested action could include contact details or confirmation.
Add a phone number or email request and ask the manager to confirm when the bag is found.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information is logically ordered, but the response is a single block and uses repeated 'So' at the start of consecutive sentences.
Paragraph the letter by introduction, bag description, and requested action, and vary the linking language.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally appropriate, with clear hotel and bag details, but some expressions are unnatural or repetitive.
Use natural phrases such as 'men's black handbag', 'by courier', and 'kept on file'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is mostly clear, but there are small errors in tense, articles, and prepositions, including one serious typo near the end.
Proofread preposition phrases and check final requests carefully.