You have recently ordered an item through the Internet, but you are not happy with the product. Write to the company. In your letter: - describe what you purchased - explain why you are not happy with the product - tell them what you would like them to do about it
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, Two weeks ago I ordered a leather wallet from your online store. I was excited when it arrived but very disappointed to find that the product was poorly made and unusable. I am hoping that you will replace it soon. In relation to the specifics of the order, I purchased this leather wallet through your website called Fashion Era on July 27th using my PayPal account. The order number is W34405 and I am attaching a copy of my receipt. The issue with the wallet is that the credit card pockets are sewn shut and I am unable to store my cards inside securely. The picture of the item on your website clearly shows cards safely stored in the little pouches so I’m sure this is a manufacturing flaw. Besides, I ordered a brown wallet but to my surprise the delivered product is black! As a solution, and because I really like the wallet, I am hoping that you will agree to send me another one for free. Otherwise, I would like a full refund and I will be contacting PayPal complaints if I do not hear back from you in regards to this within a week. Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply soon. Yours faithfully, Adam Water
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Make wording concise Original: In relation to the specifics of the order Suggested revision: Regarding the order Why it matters: This shorter phrase introduces the order details more directly.
- 2. Tighten noun phrase Original: website called Fashion Era Suggested revision: Fashion Era website Why it matters: This is a more natural way to identify the named website.
- 3. Fix adverb placement Original: inside securely Suggested revision: securely inside them Why it matters: The adverb should modify “store,” and the pronoun makes the reference to the pockets explicit.
- 4. Use precise product term Original: little pouches Suggested revision: card slots Why it matters: “Card slots” names the wallet feature more precisely and formally.
- 5. Use formal connector Original: Besides Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: This connector is more appropriate for adding another point in a formal complaint.
- 6. Use formal punctuation Original: black! Suggested revision: black. Why it matters: A full stop maintains the professional tone expected in a complaint letter.
- 7. State resolution naturally Original: As a solution Suggested revision: To resolve this Why it matters: This phrase introduces the requested remedy more naturally.
- 8. Specify requested remedy Original: another one for free Suggested revision: a replacement at no additional cost Why it matters: This wording states the requested resolution clearly and professionally.
- 9. Correct fixed expression Original: in regards to this Suggested revision: regarding this Why it matters: “In regards to” is nonstandard here; “regarding” is concise and correct.
- 10. Correct reply collocation Original: hear your reply soon Suggested revision: hear from you soon Why it matters: English uses “hear from someone” rather than “hear a reply.”
Suggested Rewrites
- In relation to the specifics of the order Regarding the order
- website called Fashion Era Fashion Era website
- inside securely securely inside them
- little pouches card slots
- Besides In addition
- black! black.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter’s strongest feature is its detailed, persuasive complaint, supported by the order number, receipt, two specific defects, and clear replacement-or-refund options. Its main limitation is organisation, because the whole letter appears as one continuous paragraph, while the final escalation to ‘PayPal complaints’ is awkwardly expressed. Prioritise dividing the purchase, defects, and requested resolution into separate paragraphs and stating the escalation procedure in precise professional language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purchase, both defects, supporting order information, and desired remedies are fully explained in a firm and generally suitable complaint.
State one preferred remedy first and define the refund as the alternative if a correct replacement cannot be supplied.
Coherence and Cohesion
The complaint progresses clearly from the purchase to evidence, defects, and remedies, but the absence of paragraphing reduces structural clarity.
Create separate paragraphs for order details, product faults, and the requested resolution and deadline.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and effective for a consumer complaint, with only a few imprecise combinations such as ‘PayPal complaints’ and ‘in regards to’.
Use precise phrases such as ‘open a dispute through PayPal’ and ‘regarding this matter’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately, with only minor non-impeding slips in phrasing and tense consistency.
Maintain consistent past tense when recounting delivery and use present tense only for defects that still exist.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have recently ordered an item through the Internet, but you are not happy with the product. Write to the company. In your letter:
- describe what you purchased
- explain why you are not happy with the product
- tell them what you would like them to do about it
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.