A large company in your area plans either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team - summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts - say how you think the company should spend the money
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to convey my opinion regarding your generous initiative to invest in the local community, either by sponsoring a children’s sports team for two years or by funding two open-air concerts. Both options would bring great value to our area, but I believe that sponsoring the sports team would have a more lasting impact.
Supporting a children’s sports team would promote physical activity, teamwork, and discipline among young people. Regular training and participation in competitions would boost their confidence and encourage a healthy lifestyle. Moreover, long-term sponsorship would ensure financial stability, allowing the team to purchase proper equipment, hire skilled coaches, and compete at higher levels.
On the other hand, open-air concerts would provide entertainment for a wide audience, bringing people together and enriching the cultural life of our community. Such events could attract visitors from neighbouring areas, benefiting local businesses. However, their impact would be temporary.
Considering the long-term advantages, I strongly recommend that the company invest in the children’s sports team, as this would provide ongoing benefits for young people and the broader community.
Yours faithfully,
Blake Harrison
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State the purpose directly Original: convey my opinion regarding your generous initiative to invest in the local community Suggested revision: provide feedback on your proposal to support the local community Why it matters: The revision is more direct and accurately describes the company's proposal and request for feedback.
- 2. Use formal phrasing Original: bring great value to our area Suggested revision: bring considerable benefits to our area Why it matters: Considerable benefits is more precise and formal than the general phrase great value.
- 3. Refine the comparison Original: a more lasting impact Suggested revision: a longer-lasting impact Why it matters: Longer-lasting expresses the comparison with the short-term concerts more precisely.
- 4. Use the stated duration Original: long-term sponsorship Suggested revision: two-year sponsorship Why it matters: Naming the stated duration ties the benefit directly to the company's proposal.
- 5. Avoid an absolute claim Original: ensure financial stability Suggested revision: provide greater financial stability Why it matters: Greater accurately presents sponsorship as an improvement without claiming that stability is guaranteed.
- 6. Choose a precise adjective Original: proper Suggested revision: suitable Why it matters: Suitable describes equipment that meets the team's needs more precisely.
- 7. Clarify the benefit Original: compete at higher levels Suggested revision: compete more effectively Why it matters: More effectively states the intended improvement without the vague reference to unspecified levels.
- 8. Make the contrast precise Original: their impact would be temporary Suggested revision: their benefits would be comparatively short-lived Why it matters: The revision specifies what would be temporary and preserves the comparison with two years of sponsorship.
Suggested Rewrites
- convey my opinion regarding your generous initiative to invest in the local community provide feedback on your proposal to support the local community
- bring great value to our area bring considerable benefits to our area
- a more lasting impact a longer-lasting impact
- long-term sponsorship two-year sponsorship
- ensure financial stability provide greater financial stability
- proper suitable
Why this response received Band 9.0
The letter fully fulfils the request through a consistently formal tone, sharply organised comparison, and precise, fluent language. Both alternatives receive relevant benefits, and the recommendation follows logically from the distinction between temporary entertainment and sustained community support. The response has no significant weakness; as a final refinement, it could make the comparison even more concrete by briefly linking the two-year sponsorship period to a specific long-term outcome.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter fully develops both options and presents a clear, well-supported recommendation in an entirely appropriate formal register.
For added specificity, connect the two-year sponsorship period to one measurable benefit for the children or community.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced seamlessly in focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and unobtrusively.
Retain this clear option-by-option structure while varying the transition into the final recommendation in future letters.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used naturally throughout, including effective language for community, sporting, and cultural benefits.
Continue refining precision by replacing broad evaluative phrases such as great value with a specific anticipated benefit.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A full range of sentence forms is used flexibly and accurately, with consistently controlled punctuation and agreement.
Maintain this level of control while continuing to vary clause openings in similarly formal responses.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
A large company in your area plans either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter:
- describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team
- summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts
- say how you think the company should spend the money
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.