A large company in your area plans either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team - summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts - say how you think the company should spend the money
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to express my appreciation for your decision to spend money for the benefit of our community - either to sponsor a local juvenile sports team or to arrange two concerts. Undeniably, your support for the local junior sports team for two years would ensure better training and equipment for the young and aspiring athletes which in turn would bring success and fame to our community. Your sponsorship for them would not only attract more sponsors in the future but also ensure that they become successful athletes in the future. Consequently, more children would be interested to be in sports. On the other hand, if you sponsor two open-air concerts, it would excite people to enjoy the events. Besides, it would advertise your brand and set a milestone for others to arrange such engaging events. Many local bands would get an opportunity to perform and show their talent, and thus become known to many people. Though both initiatives would be highly appreciated by the local people, I believe paying for the concert would be a far better idea, especially at a time when people are having less frequent chances to gather and enjoy themselves together. I would like to thank you again for your great decision and your willingness to support the community. Yours faithfully, George Adamson
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a proper dash Original: community - either Suggested revision: community—either Why it matters: An em dash without surrounding spaces correctly marks the explanatory alternative.
- 2. Match the intended meaning Original: juvenile Suggested revision: children's Why it matters: Children's is the natural term for the team described in the task.
- 3. Add clause comma Original: athletes which Suggested revision: athletes, which Why it matters: The following clause comments on the whole preceding benefit and should be set off with a comma.
- 4. Fix verb pattern Original: interested to be in sports Suggested revision: interested in taking part in sports Why it matters: Interested is followed by in and a noun or gerund.
- 5. Use accurate verb Original: sponsor Suggested revision: fund Why it matters: Fund accurately describes paying for the concerts, whereas sponsor is less precise here.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: it would excite people to enjoy the events Suggested revision: this would give people an opportunity to enjoy the events Why it matters: The revision expresses the public benefit in a natural and precise way.
- 7. Correct the collocation Original: set a milestone for others to arrange Suggested revision: set an example for others to organise Why it matters: Set an example is the correct expression for encouraging others to hold similar events.
- 8. Use plural noun Original: concert Suggested revision: concerts Why it matters: The proposal concerns two concerts, so the noun should be plural.
- 9. Use natural quantity Original: less frequent chances Suggested revision: fewer opportunities Why it matters: Fewer opportunities is the natural expression for a reduced number of occasions.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Your sponsorship for them would not only attract more sponsors in the future but also ensure that they become successful athletes in the future. Suggested revision: Your sponsorship of the team would not only attract further support but also help its members become successful athletes. Why it matters: This revision clarifies the reference and removes the repeated phrase in the future.
Suggested Rewrites
- community - either community—either
- juvenile children's
- athletes which athletes, which
- interested to be in sports interested in taking part in sports
- sponsor fund
- it would excite people to enjoy the events this would give people an opportunity to enjoy the events
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter gives a clear, balanced account of both options, states a definite preference, and maintains an appropriately formal and appreciative tone. The main limitation is that several collocations are awkward and the whole response lacks paragraph breaks; divide the ideas by function and use more natural phrases for participation, sponsorship, and opportunities to gather.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are well developed, and the recommendation is clear and appropriately supported.
Make the final choice even more precise by referring consistently to funding two concerts rather than "the concert."
Coherence and Cohesion
The contrasting options and recommendation progress logically, although the absence of paragraph breaks makes the letter less easy to scan.
Give each option and the final recommendation its own paragraph while retaining the clear contrast between them.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of formal and topic-specific vocabulary, but several collocations sound unnatural.
Use more natural expressions such as "participate in sport," "sponsorship of the team," and "fewer opportunities to gather."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, while occasional errors and awkward constructions do not impede meaning.
Improve preposition and conditional control in phrases such as "sponsorship of the team" and "if you funded two concerts, this would..."
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
A large company in your area plans either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter:
- describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team
- summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts
- say how you think the company should spend the money
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.