You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar. In your letter: - ask for information about the seminar dates - ask for details of the programme - ask about accommodation - ask about the cost
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am very excited about the seminar on "Risk Management in the Financial Industry" that will be organised by you in Edinburgh, United Kingdom. However, the information, that I received from the advert in a local newspaper, does not include the dates, program outlines, accommodation plan and the cost. I currently work in a financial institution in Italy and have spent over 5 years in the Risk Management sector. Thus the seminar will be immensely useful to me in facing current risk management issues. I am hoping that you will give me further details about the seminar. Firstly, please provide me with the actual date and agenda of the workshop with the detailed program structure. Are there any prerequisites to attend it? Secondly, what would be the cost to book the seat and what international payment methods are accepted? Lastly, will you handle the hotel booking for the international participants? If so, what would be the approximate cost? Thank you in advance. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Cyril Chinkata
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a direct clause Original: that will be organised by you Suggested revision: that you are organising Why it matters: The active relative clause is more natural and concise in a direct enquiry.
- 2. Remove the first comma Original: information, that Suggested revision: information that Why it matters: The defining relative clause should not be separated from its noun by a comma.
- 3. Remove the second comma Original: local newspaper, does Suggested revision: local newspaper does Why it matters: No comma should close a defining relative clause that has no opening comma.
- 4. Use consistent British English Original: program outlines Suggested revision: programme outline Why it matters: “Programme” matches the British English used elsewhere, and the singular denotes the seminar schedule.
- 5. Use natural wording Original: plan Suggested revision: arrangements Why it matters: “Accommodation arrangements” is the natural phrase for lodging details.
- 6. Spell out the number Original: 5 Suggested revision: five Why it matters: Writing a short number in words is more appropriate in a formal letter.
- 7. Correct the capitalisation Original: Risk Management sector Suggested revision: risk management sector Why it matters: The field name is a common noun phrase and does not require capital letters.
- 8. Add a comma Original: Thus the seminar Suggested revision: Thus, the seminar Why it matters: The introductory conjunctive adverb should be followed by a comma.
- 9. Use a precise verb Original: facing Suggested revision: addressing Why it matters: “Addressing issues” is a more natural professional collocation than “facing issues” here.
- 10. Use simple present Original: I am hoping that Suggested revision: I hope that Why it matters: The simple present is the natural form for stating a request in a formal letter.
- 11. Correct the complement Original: prerequisites to attend it Suggested revision: prerequisites for attending it Why it matters: The noun “prerequisites” is followed by “for” and a gerund in this construction.
- 12. Use natural booking terms Original: cost to book the seat Suggested revision: cost of reserving a place Why it matters: “Reserving a place” is the appropriate expression for seminar registration.
Suggested Rewrites
- that will be organised by you that you are organising
- information, that information that
- local newspaper, does local newspaper does
- program outlines programme outline
- plan arrangements
- 5 five
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter gives relevant professional context and asks clearly about dates, programme content, prerequisites, fees, payment methods, accommodation arrangements, and hotel costs. Its strongest feature is complete coverage through focused, practical questions in an appropriate formal tone. The main limitation is minor awkward phrasing and one-paragraph presentation; prioritise concise idiomatic enquiry language and group the programme, payment, and accommodation questions into readable paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All four required areas are fully covered with useful additional questions about prerequisites, payment methods, and international participant arrangements.
Ask whether the quoted seminar cost includes materials or accommodation so the total financial request is even more precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
The enquiry follows a logical sequence from background and purpose to programme, cost, and accommodation questions.
Place the contextual introduction and each main enquiry area in short paragraphs rather than relying mainly on 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Lastly'.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and appropriate for a professional seminar enquiry, with only a few awkward collocations.
Replace 'facing current risk management issues' and 'book the seat' with 'addressing current risk-management challenges' and 'reserve a place'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is generally accurate, and minor punctuation and article issues do not impede communication.
Remove unnecessary commas around the relative clause and use forms such as 'the advertisement did not include the dates or programme outline'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar. In your letter:
- ask for information about the seminar dates
- ask for details of the programme
- ask about accommodation
- ask about the cost
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.