You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar. In your letter: - ask for information about the seminar dates - ask for details of the programme - ask about accommodation - ask about the cost
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, My name is John Muller and I have recently noticed an advertisement in a local newspaper regarding a seminar on Labour Laws that you are going to organise in Dubai. I, being an HR professional from Vietnam, would like to participate in this seminar to enhance my knowledge. I am writing this letter to seek further information regarding this. As this seminar will be held in Dubai, I would like to ask for the exact schedule as I have to apply for a leave accordingly from my work. Furthermore, I would like to know about the content of the program and what aspects of labour laws will be covered in the seminar. Moreover, inform me of the registration fee and whether I can register online. As I will be travelling from Vietnam and do not know anyone in Dubai, I would like to ask whether you will arrange the accommodation for the participants or not. How much the accommodation, transportation and meals might cost? I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, John Muller
[Author - Prabhjot Singh ]
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: noticed Suggested revision: seen Why it matters: 'Seen an advertisement' is the more natural expression for encountering a published notice.
- 2. Use lowercase topic Original: seminar on Labour Laws Suggested revision: seminar on labour laws Why it matters: A general field of law is not a proper noun and does not require capital letters.
- 3. Replace vague reference Original: information regarding this Suggested revision: information about the seminar Why it matters: Naming the seminar removes the vague reference created by 'this'.
- 4. Request seminar dates Original: the exact schedule Suggested revision: the exact dates and schedule Why it matters: The task specifically requires a request for the seminar dates, so they should be named directly.
- 5. Correct leave expression Original: apply for a leave accordingly from my work Suggested revision: apply for leave from work accordingly Why it matters: 'Leave' is uncountable in this employment context and the original word order is awkward.
- 6. Soften formal request Original: Moreover, inform me Suggested revision: Moreover, could you please inform me Why it matters: The polite question form is more suitable than a direct imperative in a formal enquiry.
- 7. Remove source attribution Original: [Author - Prabhjot Singh ] Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This attribution is outside the letter and should not appear in the candidate response.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: I, being an HR professional from Vietnam, would like to participate in this seminar to enhance my knowledge. Suggested revision: As an HR professional from Vietnam, I would like to participate in this seminar to enhance my knowledge. Why it matters: The opening dependent phrase is smoother and avoids the awkward interruption around the subject.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: How much the accommodation, transportation and meals might cost? Suggested revision: How much might accommodation, transportation and meals cost? Why it matters: A direct question requires the modal verb before the subject.
- 10. Group related enquiries Suggested revision: Organise the body into one paragraph for dates and programme details and another for registration, accommodation, and costs. Why it matters: Grouping the requests by topic would improve progression and make the letter easier to answer.
Suggested Rewrites
- noticed seen
- seminar on Labour Laws seminar on labour laws
- information regarding this information about the seminar
- the exact schedule the exact dates and schedule
- apply for a leave accordingly from my work apply for leave from work accordingly
- Moreover, inform me Moreover, could you please inform me
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter clearly establishes its purpose and gives relevant, specific questions about every requested aspect of the seminar, while maintaining an appropriately formal tone. The main limitation is that the response is presented as one dense paragraph and relies on somewhat mechanical transitions, with a few awkward grammatical choices. Prioritise clear paragraphing and more natural question structures to make the request smoother and easier to follow.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is explicit, every bullet point is fully covered, and the questions are supported by relevant personal context in an appropriate register.
Refine the occasional abrupt request, such as 'inform me', so the consistently courteous tone is sustained throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from the seminar schedule and programme to fees and accommodation, although mechanical linking and absent paragraph breaks reduce fluency.
Group the requests into two or three clear paragraphs and rely less on formulaic connectors such as 'Furthermore' and 'Moreover'.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficiently broad and topic-appropriate vocabulary, with generally effective formal expressions despite a few imprecise collocations.
Use more idiomatic combinations, such as 'take leave from work' rather than 'apply for a leave from my work'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are mostly well controlled, but isolated errors occur in article use and the formation of the final cost question.
Correct question structure, for example by writing 'How much might accommodation, transportation and meals cost?'
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar. In your letter:
- ask for information about the seminar dates
- ask for details of the programme
- ask about accommodation
- ask about the cost
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.