You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar. In your letter: - ask for information about the seminar dates - ask for details of the programme - ask about accommodation - ask about the cost
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Rona Lyn Olivar, an ICU Nurse at the Urdaneta Heart Hospital, located in the province of Pangasinan in the Philippines. I have learned from a colleague that you will conduct an Electrocardiogram Training in Singapore, and I am writing to ask for some information regarding the seminar, and hoping that you would kindly provide it to me.
Firstly, with regards to the schedule, kindly inform me about the seminar schedule and what time would it begin and end each day. Secondly, please notify me of the topics and speakers of the program. I am also wondering if there is any special consideration for the registered nurses who will be attending the seminar. And finally, I would like to know about the accommodation and the cost. Would the accommodation be arranged by you or should an individual be responsible for that? What would be the approximate cost to attend and successfully finish the seminar?
I am enthusiastic about attending the seminar, and your reply will help me plan for it in advance. So, I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours faithfully,
Rona Olivar
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Lowercase the job title Original: Nurse Suggested revision: nurse Why it matters: A job title used descriptively after an article is not capitalised.
- 2. Use information collocation Original: please notify me of Suggested revision: please provide details of Why it matters: 'Provide details of' is a more natural phrase when requesting programme information.
- 3. Remove generic article Original: the registered nurses Suggested revision: registered nurses Why it matters: No definite article is needed when referring to registered nurses as a general group.
- 4. Avoid double transition Original: And finally Suggested revision: Finally Why it matters: 'Finally' alone is sufficient to introduce the last request.
- 5. Clarify accommodation responsibility Original: an individual be responsible for that Suggested revision: attendees arrange it themselves Why it matters: This directly identifies who may need to arrange accommodation and avoids the vague pronoun 'that'.
- 6. Use seminar verb Original: successfully finish Suggested revision: complete Why it matters: 'Complete the seminar' is more concise and natural than 'successfully finish'.
- 7. State the planning purpose Original: plan for it in advance Suggested revision: plan my trip Why it matters: This removes the redundancy in 'plan in advance' and makes the purpose specific.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: I have learned from a colleague that you will conduct an Electrocardiogram Training in Singapore, and I am writing to ask for some information regarding the seminar, and hoping that you would kindly provide it to me. Suggested revision: I learned from a colleague that you will hold an electrocardiogram training seminar in Singapore, and I am writing to request further information. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the faulty coordination, unnecessary capitalisation, and unnatural seminar collocation.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Firstly, with regards to the schedule, kindly inform me about the seminar schedule and what time would it begin and end each day. Suggested revision: Firstly, could you please confirm the seminar dates and its daily start and finish times? Why it matters: This directly requests the dates required by the prompt and corrects the indirect-question word order.
Suggested Rewrites
- Nurse nurse
- please notify me of please provide details of
- the registered nurses registered nurses
- And finally Finally
- an individual be responsible for that attendees arrange it themselves
- successfully finish complete
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter is purposeful, appropriately formal, and covers the schedule, programme, accommodation, and cost with clear, practical questions. Its main limitation is recurring awkwardness in clause construction and question forms, although meaning remains easy to follow throughout. The most valuable improvement would be to edit indirect questions and coordinated clauses for grammatical accuracy, while replacing a few mechanical transitions with smoother formal links.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response addresses every requested area in a suitable formal tone and provides enough context for the organiser to reply usefully.
Ask explicitly for the seminar dates, rather than relying on the broader request for its schedule, to remove any ambiguity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is logically organised into functional paragraphs, and the sequence of questions is easy to follow despite somewhat mechanical signposting.
Use smoother topic-based transitions instead of relying on 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'And finally' to structure the requests.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and appropriate for a formal enquiry, with a few imprecise or unnatural combinations.
Refine collocations such as 'conduct a training' and 'successfully finish the seminar' into more natural formal expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted successfully, but errors in coordination and indirect-question word order occur more than occasionally.
Revise forms such as 'what time would it begin' to 'what time it would begin' and avoid attaching 'hoping' to a complete clause.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar. In your letter:
- ask for information about the seminar dates
- ask for details of the programme
- ask about accommodation
- ask about the cost
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.