Today, people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Sample Response
With the development of the internet and financial sectorsFollowing the internet and the finance developing, we can see advertisements everywherein everywhere,and then it comes a view that is the advertising affects important things and has a negative impact on social life. In my opinion, although advertising helps our finance and life in some ways, Ii still think that it brings many negative impactsimpact on people’s lives.
I acknowledgeacknowledged that some advertisements truly bring many advantages to our life, such as helping people getlike helping people could get some fashion information and making online financial development, but it also bringsbring more terrible things to the social life. TheseThere are my reasons:
First of all,On one hand, financial advertising often conveys misleading information to consumersalways mislead the wrong information to consumers. In general, online store is the most popular way of shopping in the era. Inera.in many cases, some famous influencers for their target, making many fake advertisements to guide customers buy some goods which are poor qualitypoor of quality, such as food that isthe food which are out of date and fake antiques.
What is more, advertising also can cause harm to our societycan be harm to the our social, even can lead to crimemake some crimes. Nowadays, with the developing of online technique, many criminals use AI to commitAI commit some online fraud. For example, many illegalIllegal companies make some fake insurance advertisements which are displayed on some APP to mislead some old consumers to invest, and then let old people spendingspeeding all their money on it. We can see many things like this on TV everyday.
In conclusion, some good advertising has its positive sides, but i am firmly convinced that advertising has more negative impact in our social life if without government supervisionwithout the government supervised.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay clearly states a position in response to the prompt and supports it with relevant points regarding consumer deception and online fraud. However, frequent grammatical errors, inaccurate word choices, and clumsy transitional phrases lower the clarity and coherence of the argument. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structure, correcting grammatical accuracy, and using precise vocabulary for academic writing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The candidate presents a clear stance agreeing that advertising has predominantly negative effects and supports it with relevant main ideas.
Ensure all aspects of the prompt, including how advertising shapes what people value, are fully developed with extended logic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response maintains a basic overall progression, but paragraph transitions and internal linking devices are awkward or misused.
Use standard cohesive devices and clear topic sentences to guide the reader smoothly between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary usage is sufficient to convey the main ideas, though word choices, collocations, and word forms are frequently inaccurate.
Focus on correct collocations and academic word choices, avoiding informal phrasing or imprecise vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of sentence structures is attempted, but frequent errors in grammar, verb agreements, and punctuation disrupt the flow.
Review basic grammar rules, subject-verb agreement, and sentence punctuation to increase the proportion of error-free sentences.