In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems and state which one do you think is better.
Sample Response
Marriage is a legal relationship between man and woman which is one of the most important parts in most of the human's life. As time went by, marriage has changed significantly. In the past, marriage was arranged by the parents or elderly relatives and it still happens today with the limited number. In contrast, nowadays, most of the people believe that choosing their own marriage partner is the best way to have a long-lasting relationship. This essay will compare and discuss both systems. Each country has its own culture and tradition. From thousands or more cultures, marriage is a common tradition almost in all countries and traditions. In some countries, mainly in Asia, arranged marriage is very common. Marriage is arranged by parents or flesh and blood to determine the best spouse for their children. It is believed by people who conduct this system that even if the bride and groom do not love each other at the beginning, love will bloom eventually. Moreover, these people assume that the benefits of arranged marriage outstrip the drawbacks. By arranging marriage, parents can protect their children from negative relationships like free sex or cohabitation. Besides, the possibility of divorce is declined since the parents generally select their children's spouse based on the similar background such as religion, tradition, language, and socio-economic class. From another point of view, many people support that marriage should be based on love. They believe that everyone has the rights to fall in love and take a decision about his/ her own marriage partner, without intervention from others. Love marriage or marriage which comes from an own choice is very popular in western countries and also in this modern era. It is commonly believed that if people marry because of love, they will have a romantic relationship. Since they have recognised each other, they are able to respect and accept their spouses' weaknesses. In addition, people who opt to this way have a responsibility for their own choice. They will try to cope with their problems and find solutions for their marriage's life. They understand that they cannot blame anyone, including their parents because the decision to marry comes from them. This is the trends I am inclined to. My personal preference is to marry for love and choosing my own life partner. In conclusion, both arranged marriage and love marriage have positive and negative sides. People can choose what they think good to do or not. Nevertheless, I believe that marriage is a sacred and beautiful relationship. If people decide to marry, they have to understand that respect to each other is as important as love. They should respect not only to their spouses but also to their parents and families.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add indefinite articles Original: between man and woman Suggested revision: between a man and a woman Why it matters: Both singular countable nouns require indefinite articles in this general definition.
- 2. Fix possession and number Original: parts in most of the human's life Suggested revision: parts of most people's lives Why it matters: The phrase needs "of," a plural possessive referring to people, and the plural "lives".
- 3. Use natural phrase Original: with the limited number Suggested revision: on a limited scale Why it matters: "On a limited scale" naturally expresses that the practice now occurs less widely.
- 4. Remove unnecessary article Original: most of the people Suggested revision: most people Why it matters: No definite group has been specified, so "most people" is the correct general form.
- 5. Fix opening phrase Original: From thousands or more cultures Suggested revision: Across thousands of cultures Why it matters: "Across" appropriately introduces a general observation spanning many cultures.
- 6. Fix adverb placement Original: almost in all countries and traditions Suggested revision: in almost all countries and cultures Why it matters: "Almost" should modify "all," and cultures rather than traditions are being compared across countries.
- 7. Name relatives clearly Original: parents or flesh and blood Suggested revision: parents or close relatives Why it matters: "Flesh and blood" is an idiom for relatives generally and is inappropriate as a countable decision-maker.
- 8. Use precise term Original: free Suggested revision: casual Why it matters: "Casual sex" is the established expression for the behaviour intended here.
- 9. Fix passive construction Original: possibility of divorce is declined Suggested revision: likelihood of divorce is reduced Why it matters: An external factor reduces a likelihood; the passive "is declined" is not grammatical here.
- 10. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The essay introduces a nonspecific type of background, so it requires "a" rather than "the".
- 11. Use reporting verb Original: support Suggested revision: believe Why it matters: "Support" does not take a that-clause with this intended meaning, whereas "believe" does.
- 12. Use singular right Original: rights Suggested revision: right Why it matters: The fixed expression for one entitlement is "has the right".
Suggested Rewrites
- between man and woman between a man and a woman
- parts in most of the human's life parts of most people's lives
- with the limited number on a limited scale
- most of the people most people
- From thousands or more cultures Across thousands of cultures
- almost in all countries and traditions in almost all countries and cultures
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response discusses both marriage systems at length and clearly expresses a preference for choosing a partner for love, with relevant reasons concerning compatibility, responsibility, and family involvement. Its main limitation is presentation: the entire essay forms one paragraph, some claims are overgeneralised, and recurring collocation and grammar errors weaken polish; the highest-priority improvement is to separate the two views into focused paragraphs and make the comparison more balanced and precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both systems are addressed with relevant supporting reasons, and a clear preference for love marriage is stated, though some claims are generalised.
Compare the two systems against consistent criteria such as autonomy, compatibility, family support, and long-term stability.
Coherence and Cohesion
The internal sequence from arranged marriage to love marriage is understandable, but the absence of paragraph breaks seriously weakens organisation and readability.
Create separate introduction, arranged-marriage, love-marriage, and conclusion paragraphs, each with one clear controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a fairly broad range of vocabulary about relationships, culture, choice, and responsibility, despite noticeable inaccurate collocations.
Replace awkward phrases with natural forms such as close relatives, the likelihood of divorce decreases, choose this approach, and married life.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex structures, but recurring article, plural, agreement, preposition, and pronoun errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread noun phrases and dependent prepositions systematically, especially around marriage, rights, decisions, and respect.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems and state which one do you think is better.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.