In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems and state which one do you think is better.
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
It is a fact that in several countries, marriages are still set by parents, but in other countries, people have their own right to choose their wedding partners. The mixtures of these two trends are also common in many societies and countries. The following essay will discuss both facts, but I do believe that it is better for us to choose our own partner. For a number of reasons, some parents still follow the tradition of choosing a partner for their child. Firstly, since it is a tradition that has been passed on for so many generations in the society. They are afraid that it might be a taboo if they do not follow it and could be isolated by the community. Secondly, they believe that parents would give the best of everything to their child. They think that parents are wiser and more mature, therefore they could select a good partner for their child. However, other groups of people disagree with the above statement, as they believe that people should have the right to choose their own partner. They believe that a relationship should be built based on love and attraction, not based on enforcement. As marriage becomes a special moment in someone’s life, he should get married to the person he loves or he might regret it for the rest of his life. Therefore, they all agree that people should have their own right to choose their own married partner. In my opinion, I personally believe that we should have the right to choose our own spouse, as I agree that marriage is a special moment in someone’s life. And I think that the tradition of arranging married by parents should not be considered anymore as it is against the human right.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use marriage collocation Original: set Suggested revision: arranged Why it matters: Marriages are “arranged,” not “set,” by parents.
- 2. Fix right and partner Original: people have their own right to choose their wedding partners Suggested revision: people have the right to choose their own marriage partners Why it matters: The fixed expression is “have the right,” and “marriage partner” is the appropriate term.
- 3. Fix number agreement Original: The mixtures of these two trends are Suggested revision: A mixture of these two systems is Why it matters: The sentence describes one combination, so the singular noun and verb are required.
- 4. Name the systems Original: facts Suggested revision: systems Why it matters: The essay compares two marriage systems, not two facts.
- 5. Remove unnecessary emphasis Original: I do believe Suggested revision: I believe Why it matters: The auxiliary “do” adds unnecessary emphasis in this formal statement.
- 6. Use consistent reference Original: it is better for us to choose our own partner Suggested revision: people should choose their own partners Why it matters: The revision avoids shifting from general people to first-person plural and matches plural people with partners.
- 7. Fix taboo expression Original: a Suggested revision: considered Why it matters: An action is “considered taboo”; it is not described as “a taboo” in this structure.
- 8. Use natural expression Original: parents would give the best of everything to their child Suggested revision: parents want the best for their children Why it matters: The revision uses the established expression “want the best for” and corrects the general plural reference.
- 9. Use concise reference Original: other groups of people Suggested revision: other people Why it matters: The word “groups” is unnecessary because no distinct groups are identified.
- 10. Fix based-on structure Original: built based on love and attraction Suggested revision: built on love and attraction Why it matters: A relationship is “built on” a foundation, without “based.”
- 11. Use precise noun Original: not based on enforcement Suggested revision: not on coercion Why it matters: “Coercion” describes pressure to marry more precisely than “enforcement.”
- 12. Avoid unsupported totality Original: they all agree Suggested revision: they argue Why it matters: “They argue” reports the position without claiming that every person agrees.
Suggested Rewrites
- set arranged
- people have their own right to choose their wedding partners people have the right to choose their own marriage partners
- The mixtures of these two trends are A mixture of these two systems is
- facts systems
- I do believe I believe
- it is better for us to choose our own partner people should choose their own partners
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in maintaining a clear preference for personal choice while giving understandable reasons for both marriage systems. Its main limitation is that the discussion remains fairly general and gives more attention to why arranged marriage persists than to evaluating its strengths and weaknesses. Develop each side with a concrete consequence or example, use clear paragraph breaks, and revise recurring collocation and sentence-structure errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both systems and a clear opinion are presented, but the ideas are somewhat general and the evaluation of arranged marriage is limited.
Explain a concrete benefit and drawback of each system before justifying why personal choice is better.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable sequence and uses clear linking expressions, but the single-block presentation weakens paragraph-level organisation.
Divide the response into distinct introduction, two discussion paragraphs, and conclusion, with one central idea in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and shows some range, though several inaccurate collocations reduce precision.
Replace awkward expressions such as wedding partners, married partner, and arranging married with natural marriage-related collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, but fragments, article errors, and agreement problems recur.
Check that every dependent clause has a main clause and revise articles, pronoun agreement, and noun forms systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems and state which one do you think is better.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.