Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies, and some suggest that children should learn them at school. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?
Sample Response
Art and music are pivotal facets of cultural expression and creativity, and they are often regarded as fundamental elements of societythe rudimentary elements of society. In my opinion, they are still indispensable in today's technology-driven world, and despite the pervasive influence of technology, nurturing children's artistic and musical skills at schoolnurturing artistic and musical skills in children in schools should be encouraged.
Art and music undoubtedly maintain their significance in today's technology-driven world. Despite the rapid pace of digital innovationthe proliferation of digital advancements, these creative domains offer unique experiences that technology cannot fully replicate. Art and music foster emotional expression, creativity, and cultural understanding, providing individuals with a means of conveying thoughts and emotionsan avenue to convey thoughts and emotions that transcend the limitations of technology. For example, renowned artist Banksy's thought-provoking street art pieces have sparked global conversations, addressing social and political issues through visual expressions, creating an impact that resonates far beyond the digital realm.
In the modern world, where technology often dominates various aspects of life, the value of art and music education remains undiminished. This is why schoolchildrenlearners in school should spend more time learning art and music. These subjects offer unique benefits that cannot be replaced by technological advancements. They serve as outlets for creativity, enabling individuals to express emotions, thoughts, and cultural diversity in ways technology cannot emulate. Moreover, studies have consistently highlighted the positive correlation between art and music educationart & music education and cognitive development, enhancing critical thinking, problem-solving abilities, and emotional intelligence. FurthermoreMoreover, encouraging children to engage in artistic and musical activities can offer a much-needed break from the screen-dominated world, fostering mental well-being and reducing stress levels.
In conclusion, while technology undoubtedly plays a crucial role in modern education, the significance of art and music in nurturing creativity, emotional intelligence, and cognitive development cannot be overstatedunderstated. Schools should allocate sufficient time for art and music education to ensure children receive a balanced and comprehensive education.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response fully answers both questions and supports its position with relevant cultural, cognitive, and well-being benefits. Its strongest feature is the confident, precise language used to connect art and music with life in a technology-driven world. The main limitation is some repetition between the two body paragraphs; prioritise giving the school-time argument more distinct evidence about curriculum trade-offs or measurable educational outcomes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly and developed with relevant explanations and examples concerning expression, learning, and well-being.
Strengthen the case for additional school time by addressing curriculum trade-offs and showing why the benefits justify greater allocation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through focused paragraphs, although the two body sections repeat several ideas about expression and technological limits.
Give each body paragraph a more distinct purpose and avoid repeating the same technology-versus-creativity comparison.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible, precise, and appropriately academic, with strong control of terms related to culture, cognition, and technology.
Replace the slightly inaccurate phrase "rudimentary elements" and use "and" rather than an ampersand in formal prose.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and naturally, with only negligible local awkwardness.
Refine the occasional long sentence containing several participial phrases so relationships remain maximally clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies, and some suggest that children should learn them at school. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.