Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies, and some suggest that children should learn them at school. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?
Sample Response
In today’s rapidly changingevolving world, where technology shapesdominates many aspects of life, the value of traditional subjects such as art and musictraditional subjects like art and music is sometimes questioned. However, I believe that these subjects continue to play a vital role in children's developmentin the development of children and should remain an integral part of the school curriculum.
Firstly, art and music contribute significantly to the development of creativity and critical thinking skills. These subjects encourage students to think creatively, experiment with new ideasthink outside the box, experiment with new ideas, and express themselves in unique ways. For instance, a child who learns to play an instrument or makecreate art may develop problem-solving skills that can be transferred to other academic areasproblem-solving skills that can be applied in other academic areas. Secondly, art and music education fosters cultural awareness and appreciation. In a globalized world, exposure to varieddifferent forms of art and music enables students to understand and appreciate diverse cultures. For example, learning about classical music or visual arts from various regions helps children develop a broader perspective and respect for global heritage.
Children should spendChildren should indeed spend more time learning art and music at school, as these subjects provide essential benefits that support their overall development. Art and music nurture creativity, allowing children to think outside the box and develop problem-solving skills. For example, creating artwork or composing music encourages experimentation, which builds resilience and confidence in their abilities. Moreover, these subjects offer a valuable outlet for emotional expression, helping children process their feelings constructivelyin a healthy and constructive way.
In conclusion, despite the prominence of technology in modern society, art and music continue to have an important place in educationcontinue to have a significant place in education. They not only enhance cognitive and emotional development but also help children become well-rounded individuals. Therefore, I firmly believe that schools should prioritize these subjects in the curriculumprioritize teaching these subjects to children.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay answers both questions clearly and develops relevant benefits for creativity, cultural awareness, confidence, and emotional expression in a polished, well-organised response. Its main limitation is repetition: creativity and problem-solving are developed twice, while the claim that schools should allocate more time is not weighed against other curriculum demands. The priority is to justify the additional time specifically and use the second body paragraph for distinct evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions receive clear affirmative answers supported by several relevant educational benefits, though the case for spending more school time is partly repetitive and not comparatively justified.
Explain why additional art and music time merits priority over competing curriculum demands and give that point distinct support.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and sequencing are clear, but repeated discussion of creativity and problem-solving limits progression between the body paragraphs.
Keep the first body paragraph on modern relevance and devote the second exclusively to why schools should allocate more time.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, precise, and appropriate for education and development, with only minor repetition of phrases such as 'think outside the box.'
Vary repeated references to creativity and use more specific terms such as 'creative experimentation,' 'artistic practice,' and 'curriculum allocation.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with errors rare and communication consistently clear.
As a refinement, vary sentence openings and use concise structures where repeated relative clauses make the prose less direct.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies, and some suggest that children should learn them at school. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.