Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Nowadays, mobile phones have become an inevitable part of life. Although they have made the communication much easier in each step of our daily life, some people opine that they should be restricted in public places such as libraries, shops and public vehicles. I, totally, support the view and the reasons for this will be discussed below.
Firstly, public places are usually expected to be quiet and peaceful so that they are acceptable to everyone and the uses of mobile phones in such places are likely to disrupt the desirable working environment. For instance, in a library, where people are pondering over the books, the constant mobile ringtones or the phone conversation will be intrusive or irritating.
Secondly, the use of mobile phones for luring activities as facebook chatting, taking pictures, playing games, listening songs and so on can prove to be undesirable in public places. It is quite noticeable that these days, teenagers are taking pictures everywhere, at libraries, trains, buses, roads, hospitals etc which is a matter of annoyance. An example of this is my friend, who once was taking selfies continuously on the train when the passenger beside her got offended. For these reasons, restrictions on mobile phones on public places would prove to be useful in creating a sense of comfort in public.
In a nutshell, although the merits of mobile phones are numerous, it would be a definitely good decision to ban them in public places as it would create a sense of comfort and a harmonious environment for all.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use accurate collocation Original: inevitable Suggested revision: integral Why it matters: 'Integral' expresses that phones are important, while 'inevitable' means impossible to avoid.
- 2. Remove generic article Original: made the communication much easier Suggested revision: made communication much easier Why it matters: The uncountable noun 'communication' does not take 'the' in this general sense.
- 3. Use natural scope phrase Original: in each step of our daily life Suggested revision: in every aspect of our daily lives Why it matters: 'Every aspect' is the natural expression for broad influence across daily life.
- 4. Use natural reporting verb Original: opine Suggested revision: argue Why it matters: 'Argue' is more natural and direct in this academic context.
- 5. Use standard transport term Original: vehicles Suggested revision: transport Why it matters: 'Public transport' is the standard collective term for buses, trains, and similar services.
- 6. Remove incorrect commas Original: I, totally, support Suggested revision: I totally support Why it matters: The adverb should not be isolated from the verb by commas.
- 7. Use direct signposting Original: the reasons for this will be discussed below Suggested revision: I support it for the following reasons Why it matters: The active signpost is clearer and avoids an unnecessary passive preview.
- 8. Use uncountable noun Original: uses Suggested revision: use Why it matters: The activity is referred to generally, so 'use' is uncountable here.
- 9. Match public-space context Original: desirable working environment Suggested revision: desired quiet environment Why it matters: The paragraph concerns quiet public settings, not only workplaces.
- 10. Use accurate library action Original: pondering over the books Suggested revision: reading or studying books Why it matters: 'Ponder over' does not naturally describe ordinary reading or study.
- 11. Use precise frequency phrase Original: constant mobile ringtones Suggested revision: frequent mobile-phone ringtones Why it matters: 'Frequent' describes repeated interruptions more naturally than 'constant'.
- 12. Use general plural Original: the phone conversation Suggested revision: phone conversations Why it matters: The sentence refers generally to conversations rather than one specific conversation.
Suggested Rewrites
- inevitable integral
- made the communication much easier made communication much easier
- in each step of our daily life in every aspect of our daily lives
- opine argue
- vehicles transport
- I, totally, support I totally support
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay maintains a clear position and uses concrete examples to show how phone use can disturb others, with logical paragraphing throughout. Its main limitation is that the case for a blanket ban across libraries, shops, and public transport is overgeneralised, while frequent awkward word choices reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to distinguish quiet venues from ordinary public spaces and justify proportionate restrictions for each setting.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is consistent and supported with relevant examples of noise and intrusive behaviour, but the argument does not justify banning all phone use across very different public settings.
Distinguish between silent-phone rules in libraries and restrictions on disruptive behaviour in shops or public transport.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses clearly through an introduction, two focused reasons, and a conclusion, although its linking is somewhat mechanical.
Use more specific topic sentences instead of relying mainly on 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' to signal progression.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for the topic, but recurrent inaccurate collocations such as 'luring activities,' 'public vehicles,' and 'listening songs' reduce precision.
Use natural alternatives such as 'recreational activities,' 'public transport,' and 'listening to music'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the main ideas, but errors with articles, plurals, prepositions, and word order occur regularly.
Proofread noun phrases and prepositions, especially forms such as 'mobile-phone use,' 'in public places,' and 'a good decision'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.