Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Telecommunication technology has played a vital role in information sharing and bringing people closer. Its usage has become a basic necessity of life and one cannot image to live without mobile phones. Prohibition of cell phones in public places is laudable, but I don't agree fully and believe that their usage should be allowed in public places but with some restrictions.
On the one hand, using mobile phones in public places can distract other people and divert their attentions. For instance, libraries where people reading material of interest can be easily distracted through ringtones of incoming calls or people talking over the phone loudly with their loved ones. Mobile phone usage in public places like hospitals can easily interfere with the medical equipment which can be harmful to the patient. Moreover, talking over the cell phone can increase the sufferings of the patients waiting in the room to see the doctor. Mobile phones can easily slip from the hand when someone bumps in departmental stores it will not only damage the devices but it can block the entire lane at the billing counter. Often the environment at shopping malls, stores and other public avenue is very noisy and talking over cell phones will add extra decibel. Moreover, its usage in Music galleries or prayers room can result in discomfort for others and spoil their entertainment or offerings.
On the other hand, restricting usage of mobile phones in public places can keep people away to stay in touch with their loved one in case of emergency and so on. Mobile phones nowadays come up with cameras and other services like Email, Entertainment and so on. This would keep them away from capturing the pictures of events in music galleries or taking selfies in public buses and sharing with their friends on the go. Moreover, people love to listen to music during travelling will have little to enjoy. Cell phones can easily be switched to silent/vibrate mode, this will not distract people due to loud ringtones of incoming calls or messages.
To conclude, the above points provide plausible arguments in favour of both views. However, I personally believe that cell phones should be allowed in public places but with some restrictions in place so that they can remain in touch with their friends and family members whenever they need.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct verb form Original: image to live Suggested revision: imagine living Why it matters: The verb is misspelled and should be followed by a gerund here.
- 2. Place adverb naturally Original: don't agree fully Suggested revision: do not fully agree Why it matters: Placing the adverb before the main verb is more natural in formal writing.
- 3. Use uncountable noun Original: attentions Suggested revision: attention Why it matters: Attention is normally uncountable in this expression.
- 4. Choose precise noun Original: sufferings Suggested revision: discomfort Why it matters: Discomfort is the natural word for the inconvenience experienced while waiting.
- 5. Use correct noun Original: avenue Suggested revision: venues Why it matters: Venue, not avenue, refers to a public place where activities occur.
- 6. Use natural expression Original: decibel Suggested revision: noise Why it matters: A decibel is a unit of measurement and cannot be used this way without a number.
- 7. Name venue accurately Original: usage in Music galleries Suggested revision: usage in music venues Why it matters: Music venue is the natural term for a place where music is performed or enjoyed.
- 8. Correct compound noun Original: prayers room Suggested revision: prayer rooms Why it matters: The compound noun uses the singular modifier prayer and needs a plural head noun here.
- 9. Clarify intended meaning Original: their entertainment or offerings Suggested revision: their enjoyment or worship Why it matters: Entertainment and offerings do not clearly describe the two activities being disrupted.
- 10. Correct verb pattern Original: keep people away to stay in touch Suggested revision: prevent people from staying in touch Why it matters: Prevent someone from doing something is the required structure for this meaning.
- 11. Use plural noun Original: one Suggested revision: ones Why it matters: The general reference requires the plural form loved ones.
- 12. State case precisely Original: in case of emergency and so on Suggested revision: in an emergency Why it matters: This concise phrase expresses the intended circumstance without the vague ending.
Suggested Rewrites
- image to live imagine living
- don't agree fully do not fully agree
- attentions attention
- sufferings discomfort
- avenue venues
- decibel noise
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay clearly rejects a blanket ban and considers both public disturbance and the practical value of retaining phone access, with silent mode offering a sensible compromise. Its main limitation is uneven support: several examples are implausible or only loosely relevant, and frequent sentence-level language errors weaken clarity. The priority is to focus on strong contexts such as libraries, hospitals, emergencies, and quiet-use rules, explaining each one accurately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear qualified disagreement is maintained and both disruption and continued access are considered, but several supporting examples are weak, implausible, or insufficiently connected to the position.
Build the case around credible needs for quiet in libraries and hospitals, emergency access, and enforceable restrictions such as silent mode.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and two-sided progression are clear, although some long sentences, run-ons, and vague references disrupt local flow.
Give each paragraph fewer, better-developed examples and separate independent ideas with full stops rather than commas.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers public behaviour and phone functions, but frequent inaccurate combinations such as 'divert their attentions,' 'public avenue,' and 'add extra decibel' reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as 'distract people,' 'public venues,' 'increase noise levels,' and 'stay in contact during emergencies.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence types is attempted, but frequent errors in clause structure, articles, plurals, agreement, and punctuation limit control.
Construct complete relative clauses and avoid run-ons, for example 'People reading in libraries can be distracted by loud ringtones.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.