Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Nowadays, the crime rate is accelerating according to many surveys. To rein this situation, there should be a mechanism in place like jail for lifetime and death penalty based on the severity of the crime. The government should enforce such laws to create a high alert around the society and endorse a secure ruling to its people. Many incidents are the best examples of imbalanced society values in the recent days. Those are like killing someone's own mother or a plan to murder the best friend due to immaturity. If there is no mechanism to stop such kind of incidents would severely impact the society livelihood. Hence, capital punishment is mandatory to implicate a fear among the people who create such violence and which ensures the peaceful life of innocent people. In fact, I believe the death penalty is the only way to punish the criminals as they commit serious crimes which directly aid in controlling the violence at least to some extent. For instance, recently a group of five men brutally raped and murdered a woman in the broad daylight. Due to that, the high court had punished death penalty to that group which has created a sensation as the capital punishment is very rare in my country and social volunteers said the crime rate is gradually decreasing after that incident. Thus, violence is effectively controlled if the capital punishment is endorsed by a society. In some society, the crime is so violent and severer that the government and the law enforcing authority have to handle that strictly. As a result, they do not have any alternative other than imposing capital punishment. Capital punishment gives a message that you won’t be given any second chance if you commit a serious crime like murdering someone. This message is strongly needed in some society to control the crime rate. Without capital punishment, you can’t ensure that the same criminal won’t commit the crime again. You can’t actually control the crime and severe lawbreaking with the minor punishment in all of the countries. The theme that someone who murdered another human will regret someday and after few years would lead a dignified and free life when the relatives and family members of the victim would remorse forever. What punishment do you have in your mind if someone is a psychopathic killer and is out of redemption? Minor punishment and reformation facility? This does not just make sense. To summarise, capital punishment is important to bring down the crime ratio and to also provide the secured life. Otherwise, ambience in the society will disturb which is not recommended for the common man. Hence, it is advisable to imply such punishment which leads a peaceful life with less violence in these days and also in the future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: accelerating Suggested revision: increasing Why it matters: Crime rates increase or rise; they do not normally accelerate in this context.
- 2. Add required preposition Original: To rein this situation Suggested revision: To rein in this situation Why it matters: The phrasal verb is “rein in,” meaning to control.
- 3. Use precise term Original: jail for lifetime Suggested revision: life imprisonment Why it matters: “Life imprisonment” is the standard term for this punishment.
- 4. Add definite article Original: and death penalty based Suggested revision: and the death penalty based Why it matters: The specific punishment requires the definite article here.
- 5. Improve collocation Original: a high alert around the society Suggested revision: a state of high alert throughout society Why it matters: The original phrase combines words that do not collocate naturally.
- 6. Clarify intended meaning Original: endorse a secure ruling to its people Suggested revision: provide a secure environment for its people Why it matters: The original collocations obscure the intended idea of public safety.
- 7. Use natural phrasing Original: imbalanced society values Suggested revision: disturbed social values Why it matters: “Social values” is the appropriate noun phrase, and “imbalanced” is unnatural here.
- 8. Remove unnecessary article Original: in the recent days Suggested revision: in recent days Why it matters: Plural time expressions such as “recent days” do not take “the” here.
- 9. Introduce examples clearly Original: Those are like Suggested revision: These include Why it matters: “These include” links the examples directly to the preceding incidents.
- 10. Use possessive determiner Original: the Suggested revision: their Why it matters: A possessive determiner is needed to identify whose friend is meant.
- 11. Correct determiner pattern Original: such kind of incidents Suggested revision: such incidents Why it matters: “Such” can directly modify the plural noun without “kind of.”
- 12. Use correct collocation Original: implicate a fear Suggested revision: instil fear Why it matters: The verb “instil” expresses causing a feeling of fear.
Suggested Rewrites
- accelerating increasing
- To rein this situation To rein in this situation
- jail for lifetime life imprisonment
- and death penalty based and the death penalty based
- a high alert around the society a state of high alert throughout society
- endorse a secure ruling to its people provide a secure environment for its people
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a firm position and offers several relevant rationales, especially deterrence, public protection, and preventing repeat offending. Its main limitations are extensive repetition, unsupported causal claims, a single-block structure, and frequent language errors that obscure parts of the argument. Prioritise two clearly separated, evidence-based reasons and explain each in a focused paragraph using accurate, neutral wording rather than rhetorical questions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained through several relevant reasons, but development is repetitive and some evidence is asserted without support.
Build two distinct arguments around deterrence and incapacitation, using cautious evidence and acknowledging one credible limitation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall position is identifiable, but the single-block format, repeated claims, fragments, and rhetorical questions weaken progression.
Use an introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, removing repeated assertions and fragmentary questions.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonable range of crime-related vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations reduce clarity and precision.
Replace phrases such as 'rein this situation', 'implicate a fear', 'punished death penalty', and 'crime ratio' with standard terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of structures is attempted, but frequent errors in clause formation, agreement, articles, and word forms sometimes impede meaning.
Prioritise complete subject-verb clauses and accurate passive constructions before attempting long multi-clause sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.