Capital punishment is essential to control violence and crime in society. Without enforcing capital punishment like dead sentence our life would become less secure and the number of crime and violence in society would increase. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
I thoroughly agree with the proposition - capital punishment should be made mandatory in our society, where crime ratio is being increased day by day because we live in a world where people are not even certain about how they are going to return, either on legs or on shoulders. There is a law of physics, which is known as "Murphy's Law", which states that "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong". So whose duty is it to make it right again? To start with, the ratio of crime and terrorism is being so increased exponentially. People feel unsafe, even being in their own homes. Criminals show no compassion or mercy to those who are being held by them as captives. I do not know what they get by doing such heinous and diabolical acts. In my opinion, the death penalty should be made as an essential punishment for those criminals and insurgents who love to annihilate the humanity or the society we live in, where people get massacred brutally just like flies in the air. The good example of this is in most of the middle-eastern countries where criminals get beheaded or hanged publicly for their wrongdoings, that is why their crime ratio is equivalent to almost zero. Crime is, after all, a crime, irrespective of how big or small it is. By this, I mean that adopting such policies might frighten those criminals and make them think at least ten times before bringing any kind of furore among citizen and annihilate them. On the other hand, many people or activists think that criminals are also humans so they also deserve another chance to rectify themselves to become a better citizen in future. From these facts, I would maintain that no human being happens to be an insurgent, criminal or terrorist by birth. It is just the time which plays as the best teacher for some and worst for some.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural rate phrase Original: crime ratio is being increased day by day Suggested revision: the crime rate is increasing daily Why it matters: 'Crime rate' is the standard term, and the intransitive present progressive describes the trend.
- 2. Clarify the contrast Original: either on legs or on shoulders Suggested revision: either on foot or on someone's shoulders Why it matters: The fixed phrase is 'on foot', and the second image needs a possessor.
- 3. Use standard measure Original: ratio Suggested revision: rates Why it matters: 'Rates' is the standard measure for the prevalence of crime and terrorism.
- 4. Fix agreement and voice Original: is being so increased exponentially Suggested revision: are increasing exponentially Why it matters: The plural subject takes 'are', and an intransitive active form describes the trend.
- 5. Remove faulty participle Original: feel unsafe, even being Suggested revision: feel unsafe even Why it matters: The participle 'being' is unnecessary before the location phrase.
- 6. Use concise active clause Original: who are being held by them as captives Suggested revision: whom they hold captive Why it matters: The active relative clause is grammatical and removes redundant words.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: what they get by doing Suggested revision: what they gain from committing Why it matters: People gain something 'from' committing acts rather than get it by doing them.
- 8. Remove unnecessary preposition Original: made as an essential punishment Suggested revision: made an essential punishment Why it matters: The object complement after 'made' does not take 'as'.
- 9. Remove unnecessary article Original: annihilate the humanity Suggested revision: annihilate humanity Why it matters: 'Humanity' takes no article in this general sense.
- 10. Use formal relative form Original: the society we live in Suggested revision: the society in which we live Why it matters: The revised relative construction is more formal and precise.
- 11. Remove redundant adverb Original: get massacred brutally Suggested revision: are massacred Why it matters: 'Massacred' already conveys extreme brutality, making the adverb redundant.
- 12. Use indefinite article Original: The Suggested revision: A Why it matters: The example is introduced for the first time and requires the indefinite article.
Suggested Rewrites
- crime ratio is being increased day by day the crime rate is increasing daily
- either on legs or on shoulders either on foot or on someone's shoulders
- ratio rates
- is being so increased exponentially are increasing exponentially
- feel unsafe, even being feel unsafe even
- who are being held by them as captives whom they hold captive
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a firm position and presents deterrence as its main justification, with some acknowledgement of rehabilitation as an opposing view. Its main limitation is that the reasoning relies on irrelevant or unsupported claims and ends without reconciling the counterargument, while frequent language errors strain clarity; the priority is to build one evidence-based deterrence argument and finish with a consistent, qualified conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear initial position and a relevant deterrence argument address the task, but unsupported generalisations and an unresolved counterview weaken development.
Limit the claim to the most serious crimes, support deterrence with credible reasoning, and explicitly resolve the rehabilitation argument in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a broadly recognisable movement from position to deterrence and counterargument, but the single paragraph and loose shifts disrupt progression.
Organise the introduction, deterrence case, opposing view, and final judgement into distinct paragraphs with clear logical links.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad range of crime-related vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and exaggerated expressions reduce control and precision.
Prefer precise phrases such as crime rate, serious offenders, deterrent effect, and rehabilitation, avoiding dramatic figurative language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted regularly, but clause structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms are frequently inaccurate and sometimes strain meaning.
Shorten long sentences and check each clause for a clear subject, finite verb, and correct complement before combining ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Capital punishment is essential to control violence and crime in society. Without enforcing capital punishment like dead sentence our life would become less secure and the number of crime and violence in society would increase. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.