People’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful nowadays and there are many reasons behind this. Many people relate this to technological advancement while others say that high living costs and competitions are the main reasons for this stressful life we have. In your opinion what are the reasons behind this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
These days, stress is getting the more serious problem that people face and the temp of the enormous rise of this issue is turning into a tremendous challenge. This essay will discuss the causes as well as examine the solutions for dealing with this issue. It is obvious that today’s modern and complicated world brings an immense amount of stressful pressure on individuals than it was in the past. Firstly, a highly competitive work environment stresses people in a greater way, while previously seeking a job and survival mechanism in the workplace was not too hard. Additionally, because the current necessity for women to go to work and, at the same time, to be a good wife as well as successfully raise children makes their lives more stressful. Moreover, increasing the level of women’s responsibilities puts enormous pressure on men who still need to earn and share the responsibilities with women. However, there are ways to tackle such problems. The main solution could be introduced by the government. For example, it can make the problem of seeking a job less stressful by creating more workplaces and organising agencies to help potential employees meet their future job. Also, the government can create more social organisations that help families share the responsibilities of raising children. To sum up, it is evident that the level of pressure that makes persons feel more stressed is gaining momentum. There are several causes leading to it such as hard to find a job and the fear of losing it as well as growing responsibilities on families. In spite of that, various solutions exist to mitigate these issues.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix comparison structure Original: brings an immense amount of Suggested revision: places far more Why it matters: The revised verb phrase creates a grammatical comparison with the later phrase 'than in the past'.
- 2. Remove redundant wording Original: stressful pressure Suggested revision: pressure Why it matters: Pressure already conveys stress, so the adjective is redundant.
- 3. Complete the comparison Original: than it was in the past Suggested revision: than in the past Why it matters: The pronoun and verb do not have a clear grammatical referent in this comparison.
- 4. Use natural phrasing Original: stresses people in a greater way Suggested revision: places greater stress on people Why it matters: This collocation expresses the intended idea more naturally and precisely.
- 5. Clarify workplace meaning Original: seeking a job and survival mechanism in the workplace Suggested revision: finding a job and remaining employed Why it matters: The phrase 'survival mechanism' does not naturally mean keeping one's employment.
- 6. Make wording concise Original: increasing the level of women’s responsibilities Suggested revision: women’s increasing responsibilities Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same idea more directly.
- 7. Complete the verb phrase Original: need to earn Suggested revision: need to earn an income Why it matters: The verb 'earn' needs an object to express the intended meaning here.
- 8. Specify responsibilities Original: the Suggested revision: family Why it matters: Naming the kind of responsibilities makes the claim more precise.
- 9. Use correct collocation Original: introduced Suggested revision: provided Why it matters: A solution is normally provided or implemented rather than introduced by an actor in this context.
- 10. Use concise wording Original: make the problem of seeking a job less stressful Suggested revision: make job hunting less stressful Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more concisely and naturally.
- 11. Choose the right noun Original: workplaces Suggested revision: jobs Why it matters: Governments create employment opportunities or jobs, whereas workplaces are physical or organisational settings.
- 12. Fix verb choice Original: meet their future job Suggested revision: find suitable jobs Why it matters: People find jobs; they do not normally 'meet' a job.
Suggested Rewrites
- brings an immense amount of places far more
- stressful pressure pressure
- than it was in the past than in the past
- stresses people in a greater way places greater stress on people
- seeking a job and survival mechanism in the workplace finding a job and remaining employed
- increasing the level of women’s responsibilities women’s increasing responsibilities
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both causes and solutions and maintains a generally clear direction, with relevant ideas about employment pressure and family responsibilities. Its main limitation is that these ideas are asserted more than fully explained, while frequent awkward phrasing and grammatical slips reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each cause-solution link with a specific, clearly expressed explanation or example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed with relevant causes and practical government-led solutions, though support remains somewhat general.
Extend each main cause and solution with a specific explanation or example showing how it affects stress levels.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear causes-to-solutions sequence, but paragraphing is limited and some links are mechanical or imprecise.
Separate the causes and solutions into focused paragraphs and use referencing to connect ideas more naturally.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for the topic and some less common language, but several word choices and collocations are awkward.
Prioritise accurate combinations such as finding employment, workplace pressure, and family responsibilities over imprecise ambitious wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the message, although errors in articles, clauses, comparison, and sentence formation recur.
Review complex sentences for complete clause structure and accurate articles and comparison forms before submitting.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful nowadays and there are many reasons behind this. Many people relate this to technological advancement while others say that high living costs and competitions are the main reasons for this stressful life we have. In your opinion what are the reasons behind this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.