People’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful nowadays and there are many reasons behind this. Many people relate this to technological advancement while others say that high living costs and competitions are the main reasons for this stressful life we have. In your opinion what are the reasons behind this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Same question Compare all 2 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
It is believed that the daily lives of mankind have become more stressful these days. There are various reasons that have caused the situation, and the following essay will discuss in details the causes and some of the ways to address the issue.
It is true that the daily routines of people's lives are becoming more stressful nowadays, especially for those who live in big cities, such as in New York, Singapore or Jakarta. One of the factors that have caused the stress is work pressure. Due to globalisation and the free trade zone, business competition is getting tougher these days and it has increased the workload of many employees. Besides that, density and traffic have also contributed to the problem as well. Many people have to commute to work at the earliest time of the day and come home late at night to avoid traffic. As a consequence, many of these people are exhausted, frustrated and burn out with their daily lives.
There are several things that governments could do to solve the issue. Firstly, as the world economy develops, governments should strictly monitor and review employers' treatment of their labours. Governments must ensure that companies have been employing their labours at proportionate working hours to reduce the stress level and to avoid any fatal work accidents. Secondly, governments should also expand their long-term development plan, by developing new areas. By expanding new areas, it is hoped that some of the city people will move to new areas, and it will reduce the density and traffic issues which have caused stress. Thirdly, governments should also add more public facilities, such as playgrounds, parks and sports fields for their residents. It is a fact that doing some recreational and sports activities could reduce the stress level.
In conclusion, many experts believe that the day to day lives of people have become more stressful. There are some factors that have caused problems such as tight business competition, density and traffic problems. However, there are some steps that governments could do to reduce the stress level, and some of them would be by monitoring the companies, expanding new areas and provide more recreational facilities for the public.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural noun Original: daily lives of mankind Suggested revision: daily lives of people Why it matters: “Mankind” is unnecessarily broad and unnatural when referring to people's everyday lives.
- 2. Make cause phrase direct Original: various reasons that have caused the situation Suggested revision: various factors that have caused this situation Why it matters: “Factors” expresses causes more precisely, and “this situation” gives the reference clearer focus.
- 3. Use singular expression Original: discuss in details Suggested revision: discuss in detail Why it matters: The fixed expression is “in detail”, with the singular noun.
- 4. Remove redundant wording Original: daily routines of people's lives Suggested revision: people's daily routines Why it matters: A routine is already part of daily life, so the original phrase is unnecessarily repetitive.
- 5. Remove extra preposition Original: such as in New York Suggested revision: such as New York Why it matters: “Such as” introduces the city examples directly without “in”.
- 6. Fix subject agreement Original: One of the factors that have caused the stress Suggested revision: One of the factors that has caused stress Why it matters: The relative verb agrees with singular “one”, and uncountable “stress” needs no article here.
- 7. Use formal competition term Original: getting tougher Suggested revision: becoming more intense Why it matters: “Becoming more intense” is a more precise academic description of competition.
- 8. Use formal linker Original: Besides that Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: “In addition” is the more natural formal connector for another contributing factor.
- 9. Name the problems precisely Original: density and traffic have Suggested revision: population density and traffic congestion have Why it matters: The specific problems are population density and traffic congestion, not density and traffic in general.
- 10. Remove duplicate addition Original: as well Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: “Also” already marks addition earlier in the sentence, so “as well” is redundant.
- 11. Use natural time phrase Original: at the earliest time of the day Suggested revision: early in the morning Why it matters: The original phrase is not idiomatic for describing an early commute.
- 12. Use adjective form Original: burn out Suggested revision: burned out Why it matters: The complement after “are” requires the adjective “burned out”, not the verb phrase “burn out”.
Suggested Rewrites
- daily lives of mankind daily lives of people
- various reasons that have caused the situation various factors that have caused this situation
- discuss in details discuss in detail
- daily routines of people's lives people's daily routines
- such as in New York such as New York
- One of the factors that have caused the stress One of the factors that has caused stress
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both parts clearly, linking urban stress to work pressure, competition, congestion, and long commutes before proposing regulation, decentralisation, and recreational facilities. Its main limitation is that some solutions are broad and their feasibility or causal connection is only partly explained, while recurring language errors reduce precision. Prioritise developing one workplace and one urban-planning solution through specific implementation details and likely effects.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Relevant causes and solutions are clearly presented and generally developed, though some proposals remain broad and only partly justified.
Explain how governments would enforce reasonable working hours and how decentralised development would measurably reduce commuting stress.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised into causes, solutions, and conclusion, with clear paragraphing and generally effective progression despite some repetition.
Group the three government measures by priority and use the conclusion to synthesise their expected impact rather than repeat the list.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for work, urbanisation, and public policy, but frequent imprecise or unnatural collocations limit accuracy and flexibility.
Use natural terms such as employees, reasonable working hours, urban density, traffic congestion, decentralised development, and recreational facilities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, but agreement, word-form, parallelism, preposition, and verb-pattern errors recur.
Check subject-verb agreement and maintain parallel verb forms when listing causes, policies, and expected outcomes.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful nowadays and there are many reasons behind this. Many people relate this to technological advancement while others say that high living costs and competitions are the main reasons for this stressful life we have. In your opinion what are the reasons behind this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Your response
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