In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?
Sample Response
Nowadays child labour is commonnot an uncommon thing and due to economic growththe growing economy more and more children are involved in paid work. It is hard to determine whether it is right or wrongidentify if it is right or wrong without considering every relevant factorevery tiny fact. Such as the kind of work children do, whether they work part time or full time, working conditionslabour conditions etc. Many people hold the opinion that child labour has only negative effectscauses only bad things. These include an increased high school dropout rate, drug and alcohol abuse. Employers, however, are the only ones who benefitthe only one who benefits from hiring an underage workeran under-aged person, enjoying inexpensive and efficient laboura cheap and effective labour. They also argueopine that child labour is always dangerous and harmful to future generationsharmful for the next generations. Because of child labour, children will fail to get proper education and other childhood activitiesother activities of a child. Nevertheless, paid work by childrenchild work has a lot of advantagesadvantages along with it. Apart from getting paid, the child can gain valuable experiencean important experience and prepare for the world of workthe work world. Young people also learn to take responsibility and organise themselves. For instance, many successful businessmen in the US send their childrenkids to do any kind of job by their 16th summer. Currently, this is popular not only in the US but among many nations as well. In developing countries, the majority of teenagers work in order to help their families. For young people, it becomes a necessity rather than a choice. Eventually, work brings much more positive experience however it is more useful when the working experience is accompanied by the college or university studies.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response considers both the harms and possible benefits of paid work for children and reaches a qualified conclusion that work can help when combined with education. Its main limitation is uneven development: working conditions are introduced but not used to organise the judgement, while examples and claims remain broad. Build the essay around clear conditions such as age, hours, safety, and schooling, and proofread recurring grammar and collocation errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both negative and positive perspectives are relevant, and a qualified opinion emerges, but several points are listed rather than fully explained.
Use the stated factors of age, hours, conditions, and schooling to define clearly when paid work is acceptable or harmful.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves recognisably from drawbacks to benefits and then a conclusion, though the single block and fragments weaken progression.
Divide the discussion into an introduction, a harms paragraph, a benefits-and-conditions paragraph, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss work, education, and responsibility, but frequent awkward collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Replace phrases such as “bad things,” “a cheap and effective labour,” “important experience,” and “work world” with natural academic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually clear, but fragments, agreement errors, article mistakes, and run-on clauses occur frequently across the response.
Turn the “Such as” fragment into a complete sentence and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation before linking clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.