In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, in other countries, they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules?
Sample Response
In this modern world whether strict rules should be followed by children or not is a very critical and controversial issue. As we know that children are living in different societies and cultures, their behaviour and metal structures are different as well. For example, in Pakistan, more social and loyalty could be observed among children and they respect their parents in a very charming way. While respect is very common, friendly relationship among parents and children are not. On the contrary, in European countries, it is a bit different. In these countries, children have their own motto and they do those types of tasks only which they have set in their minds. However, they have a better and friendly relationship with their parents. So overall strict rules would not be suitable for all geographic locations, which might be helpful in some parts of the world. The strict rules in children behaviour have some advantages but also have some drawbacks which are discussed below.
First of all the children under strict rules and code of conduct will be responsible and very respectful to the parents, elder people and to the society. Such children build a stable and attractive society. The children in such society feel himself a responsible citizen, mature, and know how to treat others in the society in a respectful way. And the society of such children is free of heinous crimes and drug abuses. On the other hand, children who do not follow strict rules of behaviour become rude, selfish and undisciplined. And such children create hurdles in the society which create bad impacts on a society. And for such children, the government also try to develop such a law to demolish such bad elements from the society.
Strict rules for children often have very bad psychological and social problems. It is not unusual that parents who bit their children would be hated and not respected by the children at a later stage. Strict rules hinder the creativity among children and make them under-developed mentally. A friendly relationship between parents and kids is often helpful for a better future generation. Strict rules are temporary but love and respects are long lasting. Hence parents should try to be friendly with kids and try to explain the right from wrongs. In many society children’s rude and unexpected behaviour are rooted to the too much strict regulation they were imposed. Hence, a set if strict rules is not always a better option to nurture kids.
It is concluded from this topic that Children under strict rule behaviour have a good moral character and responsible adults but sometimes this is not a good option and have negative impacts. So I would opine that friendly relationship, some freedom as well as some rigid rules should be combined to nurture the children and for their betterment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural opening phrase Original: this Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The revised phrase is more idiomatic in formal English.
- 2. Use active structure Original: whether strict rules should be followed by children or not Suggested revision: whether children should follow strict rules Why it matters: The active structure expresses the question more directly and naturally.
- 3. Fix clause opener Original: As we know that Suggested revision: Since Why it matters: The original opener does not form a grammatical subordinate clause here.
- 4. Correct word choice Original: metal structures Suggested revision: mental development Why it matters: Metal is the wrong word, and mental development conveys the intended meaning clearly.
- 5. Use parallel nouns Original: more social and loyalty Suggested revision: greater sociability and loyalty Why it matters: The comparison requires two parallel noun forms.
- 6. Use precise wording Original: in a very charming way Suggested revision: with great respect Why it matters: The revision states the intended manner of behaviour more precisely.
- 7. Fix number and preposition Original: friendly relationship among parents and children are not Suggested revision: friendly relationships between parents and children are not Why it matters: Plural relationships agrees with are, and between correctly links the two groups.
- 8. Choose accurate noun Original: motto Suggested revision: goals Why it matters: Motto means a guiding phrase and does not fit the intended reference to chosen aims.
- 9. Fix relative clause Original: tasks only which Suggested revision: tasks that Why it matters: That correctly introduces the defining relative clause without the misplaced only.
- 10. Fix possessive phrase Original: The strict rules in children behaviour Suggested revision: Strict rules governing children's behaviour Why it matters: The revision uses the possessive form and clarifies how the rules relate to behaviour.
- 11. Punctuate transition Original: First of all the children Suggested revision: First of all, children Why it matters: The introductory transition needs a comma, and the general plural noun takes no article.
- 12. Use correct adjective Original: elder Suggested revision: older Why it matters: Older is the standard adjective for people, whereas elder is normally used in narrower relational contexts.
Suggested Rewrites
- this the
- whether strict rules should be followed by children or not whether children should follow strict rules
- As we know that Since
- metal structures mental development
- more social and loyalty greater sociability and loyalty
- in a very charming way with great respect
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear, balanced conclusion and develops both the benefits and risks of strict rules across a logical essay structure. Its main limitation is that several claims are broad, culturally stereotyped, or only loosely explained, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors sometimes make the argument awkward. The highest priority is to support a focused position with precise, realistic examples and revise sentences for agreement, article use, and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question, considers advantages and disadvantages, and reaches a clear qualified position, although several supporting claims are overgeneralized or insufficiently explained.
State the intended degree of rule-following earlier and develop each main reason with a specific, credible explanation or example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress through a recognizable introduction, contrasting body paragraphs, and conclusion, but the long opening and mechanical linking weaken cohesion.
Shorten the contextual opening and connect sentences through logical reference rather than repeatedly beginning them with coordinating linkers.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, including some less common items, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Replace unnatural combinations with precise expressions, especially when describing children's development, social effects, and parental discipline.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures conveys the main meaning, though errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction occur frequently.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement and noun form, then rewrite awkward complex clauses into accurately controlled structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, in other countries, they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.