Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many people emphasise that voluntary work ought to be a mandatory component of the high school curriculum. I completely agree with this opinion because it presents students with the opportunity to inculcate a deep sense of civic responsibility and also provides a conducive environment so that they can foster transferable skills.
To commence with, unpaid public service would be a golden opportunity for high school students to develop a keen sense of social responsibility and awareness. By devoting their time and effort to addressing the needs of the local community, students can develop a profound understanding of challenges faced by marginalized people, thus inculcating a sense of responsible citizenship. For example, a pupil engaging in a food bank or soup kitchen programme may obtain valuable insight into the issue of food insecurity and may turn into a passionate advocate for policy changes that deal with this pressing issue.
Moreover, students can acquire essential life skills through unpaid community service. Taking part in voluntary programmes, such as charity work, community cleanup programmes or voluntary sports coaching for youngsters, pupils can actively contribute to their societies, thereby gaining hands-on experiences. Through these experiences, they can hone their communication skills, problem-solving abilities, and team spirit. For instance, a student who volunteers at a community food bank may learn how to manage time and resources, closely collaborate with others, and empathize with vulnerable populations. Besides, the skills students attain through free public service enrich their resumes, demonstrating their commitment to noble causes and their ability to work cooperatively with others.
To conclude, I believe that unpaid community service should be obligatory for high school students because it instils a sense of social responsibility and helps young students gain social skills.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: inculcate a deep sense Suggested revision: develop a strong sense Why it matters: “Develop a strong sense” is more natural when students acquire civic responsibility themselves.
- 2. Improve the relative link Original: so that they can foster transferable skills Suggested revision: in which they can develop transferable skills Why it matters: The relative construction links the environment more directly to skill development.
- 3. Use a natural linker Original: commence Suggested revision: begin Why it matters: “To begin with” is the more idiomatic sequencing phrase in this context.
- 4. Keep terminology consistent Original: public Suggested revision: community Why it matters: This wording matches the task term and the rest of the response more precisely.
- 5. Use formal wording Original: golden Suggested revision: valuable Why it matters: “Valuable opportunity” is more precise and suitably formal for an academic essay.
- 6. Add the article Original: understanding of challenges faced Suggested revision: understanding of the challenges faced Why it matters: The specified challenges experienced by marginalized people require the definite article.
- 7. Clarify the activity Original: a pupil engaging in a food bank Suggested revision: a pupil volunteering at a food bank Why it matters: A person volunteers at a food bank rather than engages in the institution itself.
- 8. Use concise wording Original: turn into Suggested revision: become Why it matters: “Become” expresses the change more directly in formal writing.
- 9. Use the local term Original: societies Suggested revision: communities Why it matters: “Communities” fits the local voluntary activities described in the paragraph.
- 10. Use uncountable experience Original: experiences Suggested revision: experience Why it matters: “Experience” is uncountable when it refers generally to practical knowledge gained through activities.
- 11. Use natural word order Original: closely collaborate Suggested revision: collaborate closely Why it matters: The adverb more naturally follows “collaborate” in this phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- inculcate a deep sense develop a strong sense
- so that they can foster transferable skills in which they can develop transferable skills
- commence begin
- public community
- golden valuable
- understanding of challenges faced understanding of the challenges faced
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its direct position, well-developed reasons, and consistently precise examples showing how compulsory service can build civic responsibility and transferable skills. Its main limitation is minor repetition, particularly the reuse of the food-bank example, which slightly narrows the range of support. The priority is to diversify the evidence and sharpen a few word choices so each paragraph adds a clearly distinct dimension.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay fully addresses the proposition with a clear position and two well-developed, relevant reasons supported by specific examples.
Use a different example in the second body paragraph to make the supporting evidence more varied and independently persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced logically, paragraphs have clear central topics, and cohesive devices guide the reader without obscuring progression.
Reduce minor thematic repetition between the two body paragraphs so their distinct contributions are even sharper.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible, with effective topic-specific choices and only occasional slightly overstated or less natural phrasing.
Replace stock expressions such as “golden opportunity” with more measured academic wording and keep collocations consistently natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only minor lapses that do not affect clarity.
Polish small points of idiomatic control, such as countability in “hands-on experience,” to achieve greater consistency.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.