Writing, reading and maths are the three major subjects. Some people think that computer skills should be added as a fourth subject. What extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
With the advent of technological advancement, the education field has undergone enormous changes. It is argued that in addition to the traditional three core subjects which are writing, reading and mathematics, computer skills should be incorporated into the official school curriculum. This viewpoint has my support.
As for workers, computer literacy is a prerequisite for most well-paying jobs. An employee in the modern world needs to be well-acquainted with word processing, power point presentation skill, etc. if they wish to have a successful career and promising job prospects. This is because most tasks at the workplace require the utilization of computers and the internet to be effectively performed. Staff need to type dozens of pages, send hundreds of emails per day, or browse the Net for potential suppliers and customers. Without computer skills, it would be unimaginable if such tasks could be done in a speedy and timely manner.
As for students, computer skills are demanded as they pursue higher education at universities, colleges or even vocational centers. For example, an undergraduate needs to search for interdisciplinary knowledge via various researches published in online journals to complete their assignments as part of a course at university. Without computer-related skills, it would be impossible for the student to have access to these online materials, and therefore fail to achieve the minimum grade to pass the course. By contrast, with a command of computer skills, they can further boost their study productivity by various applications installed on the computer like Photoshop, Quiznet, etc.
In conclusion, I think it is essential that computer skills be taught in tandem with numeracy, literacy and mathematics to equip youngsters with what is needed to succeed in modern society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove tautology Original: the advent of technological advancement Suggested revision: rapid technological advancement Why it matters: Advent and advancement repeat the same idea and create an unnatural phrase.
- 2. Improve collocation Original: the education field Suggested revision: the field of education Why it matters: The field of education is the more natural academic collocation.
- 3. Correct name and number Original: power point presentation skill Suggested revision: PowerPoint presentation skills Why it matters: PowerPoint is one word and the plural skills fits the list of workplace abilities.
- 4. Correct preposition Original: at Suggested revision: in Why it matters: In the workplace is the idiomatic prepositional phrase for this general context.
- 5. Use consistent register Original: Net Suggested revision: internet Why it matters: Internet is the clearer and more contemporary term in this academic context.
- 6. Correct collocation Original: demanded Suggested revision: essential Why it matters: Skills are essential is natural here, whereas skills are demanded is not idiomatic in this meaning.
- 7. Use uncountable noun Original: various researches Suggested revision: research Why it matters: Research is uncountable when referring generally to published academic work.
- 8. Correct means structure Original: by various applications installed on the computer Suggested revision: by using various applications installed on a computer Why it matters: By using correctly shows how the applications improve study productivity.
- 9. Remove subject duplication Original: numeracy, literacy and mathematics Suggested revision: writing, reading, and mathematics Why it matters: Numeracy and mathematics duplicate one another, while the revision names the three subjects discussed throughout.
- 10. Tighten subject listing Original: the traditional three core subjects which are writing, reading and mathematics Suggested revision: the three traditional core subjects of writing, reading, and mathematics Why it matters: The revised noun phrase removes the wordy relative clause and punctuates the list consistently.
- 11. Use direct topic phrase Original: As for workers Suggested revision: For workers Why it matters: The shorter phrase introduces the paragraph topic more directly.
- 12. Choose precise ability verb Original: well-acquainted with Suggested revision: proficient in Why it matters: Proficient in states practical competence more precisely than familiarity with the tools.
Suggested Rewrites
- the advent of technological advancement rapid technological advancement
- the education field the field of education
- power point presentation skill PowerPoint presentation skills
- at in
- Net internet
- demanded essential
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response states a clear position and supports it with relevant discussion of workplace and higher-education needs, maintaining a logical structure throughout. Its strongest feature is the sustained explanation of practical benefits, but the link between some adult-focused examples and adding the subject to a school curriculum remains partly implicit, alongside several awkward collocations. The priority is to make that curricular connection explicit and refine word choice for greater precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear supportive position is maintained and developed through relevant employment and education arguments, though one link to the school curriculum is implicit.
Explicitly explain why future workplace demands justify making computer skills a core school subject alongside the existing three.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is clear and ideas progress logically, although the body-paragraph openings are somewhat mechanical.
Use more idea-specific topic sentences instead of repeating the As for framing to strengthen paragraph linkage.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of relevant vocabulary, but several collocations and word forms are imprecise or unnatural.
Refine phrases such as presentation skills, research articles, and improve productivity with applications for more natural expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, though several awkward conditional and reference structures remain.
Revise constructions such as it would be unimaginable if and ensure pronoun references and consequence clauses attach unambiguously.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Writing, reading and maths are the three major subjects. Some people think that computer skills should be added as a fourth subject. What extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.