Writing, reading and maths are the three major subjects. Some people think that computer skills should be added as a fourth subject. What extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Writing, reading and math are all very important skills for an individual to have. However, many believe that technology computer learning is also becoming essential. I completely agree with this notion because with the three major subjects, one must possess the technological skills to excel in their domain.
To start with, making computer skills a mandatory subject in schools would help students be well-equipped for their future jobs. There is no doubt that computer literacy is a must-have skill for almost all job seekers in this tech world. Due to this, it is implicit in the high competition for jobs that students must be highly skilled in computers and other related areas. For instance, many hiring companies include the knowledge of software like Microsoft Office, internet and social media as part of the candidates’ job requirements.
Moreover, introducing computer skills at schools would provide students the opportunity to use it as a source of knowledge and information. In this way, they can access a great deal of online materials as well as avail themselves of distance learning. Besides, during the time of entertainment and social life, students can easily log in to social networking sites like Facebook or Twitter to maintain contact with their relatives who live far away or get their online friends' circle expanded. These can help them unwind where they could also be a part of a wider range of fun activities accessible to them.
In conclusion, it is my strong conviction that computer skills should be considered as one of the core subjects along with math, reading, and writing. This not only helps in acquiring the knowledge but also in rejuvenation of the individual while keeping in contact with others online.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the noun phrase Original: technology computer learning Suggested revision: computer education Why it matters: The original sequence of nouns is not an established English expression.
- 2. Use broader wording Original: jobs Suggested revision: careers Why it matters: ‘Careers’ fits the long-term educational context more naturally than individual jobs.
- 3. Use formal wording Original: this tech world Suggested revision: today’s technology-driven world Why it matters: ‘Tech world’ is informal for an academic essay.
- 4. Fix the collocation Original: implicit in the high competition Suggested revision: clear from the intense competition Why it matters: The original combination of ‘implicit in’ and ‘high competition’ is unnatural.
- 5. Describe computer ability Original: highly skilled in computers Suggested revision: proficient in using computers Why it matters: People are proficient in using computers rather than skilled in the machines themselves.
- 6. Remove the article Original: the knowledge of software Suggested revision: knowledge of software Why it matters: ‘Knowledge’ is used without ‘the’ when referring to competence generally.
- 7. Add article and commas Original: Microsoft Office, internet and social media Suggested revision: Microsoft Office, the internet, and social media Why it matters: ‘Internet’ needs the definite article, and commas clarify the three-item list.
- 8. Clarify whose requirements Original: part of the candidates’ job requirements Suggested revision: among the job requirements for candidates Why it matters: The revision avoids implying that the candidates themselves possess the job requirements.
- 9. Use the usual preposition Original: at Suggested revision: in Why it matters: ‘In schools’ is the standard phrase for a subject taught within the school system.
- 10. Add the missing preposition Original: provide students the opportunity Suggested revision: provide students with the opportunity Why it matters: The verb ‘provide’ requires ‘with’ before the thing being supplied.
- 11. Match the plural noun Original: it Suggested revision: them Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with the plural phrase ‘computer skills’.
- 12. Use a count quantifier Original: a great deal of online materials Suggested revision: many online materials Why it matters: ‘Materials’ is countable and cannot follow ‘a great deal of’ here.
Suggested Rewrites
- technology computer learning computer education
- jobs careers
- this tech world today’s technology-driven world
- implicit in the high competition clear from the intense competition
- highly skilled in computers proficient in using computers
- the knowledge of software knowledge of software
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay maintains a clear position and organizes two identifiable reasons, with the employment argument supported particularly effectively. The main weakness is that the second body paragraph drifts from the value of teaching computer skills toward general entertainment and social-media use, while awkward wording sometimes reduces precision. The priority is to develop each reason around educational benefits and express those links in more natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant reasons are presented, but the second reason becomes only partly focused on adding computer skills as a school subject.
Keep every example tied to educational or career benefits and explain how it justifies making computer skills a core subject.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and progression are clear, though some transitions are mechanical and a few references are vague.
Use more explicit logical links within the second body paragraph and ensure pronouns refer unambiguously to the intended idea.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate vocabulary for the topic, but recurring awkward collocations and word choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace expressions such as “technology computer learning” and “during the time of entertainment” with concise, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures with generally clear meaning, despite recurring errors in articles, agreement, and clause construction.
Improve control of pronoun agreement and revise long sentences whose dependent clauses are loosely or inaccurately attached.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Writing, reading and maths are the three major subjects. Some people think that computer skills should be added as a fourth subject. What extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.