Writing, reading and maths are the three major subjects. Some people think that computer skills should be added as a fourth subject. What extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The digital revolution has transformed the lives of billions of people across the world. It has changed the way that people work, learn, and communicate. Therefore, I agree completely that computer skills should be one of the core subjects in the school curriculum, alongside reading, writing, and mathematics.
Firstly, in today’s employment market, computer literacy is essential for most well-paid jobs or simply routine desk jobs. In order to pursue a successful career, to have better job prospects, promotion opportunities, and to move up the career ladder, employees of all ages must be able to apply computer skills to many of the tasks which they have to perform. Schools must ensure that students have a good grasp of computer skills as essential preparation for the world of work.
Secondly, computer skills are demanded of all students wishing to enter higher education or even to pursue most vocational courses. For example, an enormous amount of research has been published on the internet across the whole spectrum of disciplines. If students lack the necessary skills to access these materials online, they will probably fail to make the grade and complete their studies. Students with computer skills can also take advantage of opportunities for distance learning through video conferencing and the college intranet.
Finally, in terms of leisure and social life, computer skills enable people to join social networking sites, such as Facebook or chat rooms, or to maintain contact through Skype. Whether it is internet dating, chatting, downloading podcasts, or music, social interaction is almost unimaginable without the possession of some computer skills.
In conclusion, socio-economic changes have revolutionized the daily lives of people, and it is essential that computer skills should be taught alongside numeracy and literacy in order to equip youngsters to face the modern world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: one of the core subjects Suggested revision: a core subject Why it matters: The shorter phrase states the proposed status of computer skills more directly.
- 2. Use standard collocation Original: employment Suggested revision: job Why it matters: 'Job market' is the more established collocation in this context.
- 3. Complete prepositional phrase Original: as essential preparation Suggested revision: as part of their essential preparation Why it matters: Adding 'part of their' makes the relationship between school instruction and preparation grammatically explicit.
- 4. Fix verb choice Original: demanded Suggested revision: required Why it matters: Skills are 'required of' students; 'demanded of' is unnatural in this construction.
- 5. Keep verbs parallel Original: enter higher education or even to pursue Suggested revision: enter higher education or even pursue Why it matters: Both verbs governed by 'wishing to' should use the same base form.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: published on the internet Suggested revision: published online Why it matters: 'Published online' expresses the same meaning more concisely.
- 7. Use formal register Original: make the grade and complete their studies Suggested revision: succeed in and complete their studies Why it matters: 'Make the grade' is comparatively informal for an academic essay.
- 8. Remove wordiness Original: without the possession of some computer skills Suggested revision: without basic computer skills Why it matters: The revision is clearer and avoids the wordy nominal phrase 'the possession of'.
- 9. Simplify clause structure Original: it is essential that computer skills should be taught Suggested revision: it is essential to teach computer skills Why it matters: The infinitive construction communicates the necessity more directly and concisely.
- 10. Use precise formal wording Original: equip youngsters to face the modern world Suggested revision: equip young people for the modern world Why it matters: 'Young people' is more formal than 'youngsters', and 'equip for' is the natural construction here.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: In order to pursue a successful career, to have better job prospects, promotion opportunities, and to move up the career ladder, employees of all ages must be able to apply computer skills to many of the tasks which they have to perform. Suggested revision: To pursue a successful career, improve their job and promotion prospects, and advance professionally, employees of all ages must be able to use computer skills in many of their tasks. Why it matters: The rewrite restores parallel verb structure and removes repetitive wording.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Finally, in terms of leisure and social life, computer skills enable people to join social networking sites, such as Facebook or chat rooms, or to maintain contact through Skype. Suggested revision: Finally, in their leisure and social lives, people can use computer skills to access social networking sites and chat rooms or to maintain contact through Skype. Why it matters: The revision separates sites from chat rooms and clarifies how the examples relate to computer use.
Suggested Rewrites
- one of the core subjects a core subject
- employment job
- as essential preparation as part of their essential preparation
- demanded required
- enter higher education or even to pursue enter higher education or even pursue
- published on the internet published online
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its direct position, clear progression, and well-developed explanation of how computer skills support employment, education, and social life. The main limitation is that a few examples and expressions are somewhat dated or general, which slightly reduces precision and depth. Prioritise using a current, specific example that shows why formal teaching is necessary rather than merely useful.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is fully clear and supported by three relevant, well-developed reasons that directly answer the question.
Add a more specific contemporary example showing why schools, rather than informal exposure alone, should teach these skills.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced logically, with focused paragraphs and cohesive devices that guide the reader smoothly.
Vary the overt sequencing markers to make the progression feel even more organic while retaining the clear structure.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used flexibly across education, employment, and technology, with only minor awkwardness.
Refresh dated references and refine phrases such as skills are demanded of students to maximise naturalness and precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of complex structures accurately, with strong punctuation and only very minor lapses.
Polish the occasional crowded parallel structure so every long sentence is as controlled as the rest of the essay.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Writing, reading and maths are the three major subjects. Some people think that computer skills should be added as a fourth subject. What extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.