It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.
Sample Response
Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. However, other people think that a big city gives more opportunities and this is beneficial in the long runit is good for the long run. For several reasons, I thinkPersonally, for several reasons I think that it is better for children to grow up in a city that offers numerous advantages. First of all, it is very important for a child to grow up in a healthy environment. Children need fresh air, not polluted by the huge numberamount of cars and factories of the modern city. In the countrysidecountry, they can spend more time exercising and walking with their friends. Scientists say that now children spend the same amount of time watching TV as they do at school. Probably, the possibility to join their friends to playfor a play will change this balanceproportion. Another important considerationAnother important aspect of this is that parents will have more time to spend with their children as a result of avoidingeliminating traffic jams and reducing overall driving timedecreasing driving time as a whole. On the other handFrom the other side, children have some advantages when living in a big cityadvantages living in a big city. For example, they have more opportunities to choose what they want to dochoose from what they want to do. They can choose to attend ballet school, school of art, gymnastics, etc. InFor the long run, it is good for them. They will be better prepared for life in the "real world"a life in a "real world" and they will have more chances to build a successful careermake a good career and succeed. Moreover, a big city usually has many entertaining centres with movie theatres and play stations. When I was a child I liked to go to the movie theatre with my parents to watch a premiere. One more reason to choose a big city for a child is that a city provides better livinglive conditions and services such as medical and dental care.services such as medical, dental, etc. My friend lived in the country for a while and once he and his familyone time he and his family had to drive a couple of hours to the nearest medical centre when his child developed a severe coughgot a heavy cough. To summarise, I agree with those people who want to raise their children in a city. The abundanceplenty of opportunities offered by a city helps children to find what they really like and be the best at it. Moreover, despite the air pollution, children get a better medical service that is good for their health.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response establishes a consistent preference for city upbringing and supports it with a broad comparison covering health, activities, future prospects, recreation, and medical care. Its examples are generally effective, but all ideas are compressed into one continuous paragraph and several expressions are awkward or imprecise. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the countryside and city arguments into distinct paragraphs, then refine recurring collocations about opportunities, living conditions, and healthcare.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position favouring city upbringing is clear and consistent, and both settings are explored through relevant reasons and specific examples.
Strengthen the evaluation by explaining more directly why city opportunities and healthcare outweigh the countryside's environmental and family-time benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a discernible countryside-versus-city sequence, but the entire response appears as one long paragraph and some linking is formulaic.
Create separate introduction, countryside, city, and conclusion paragraphs so the logical stages of the comparison are immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to discuss health, education, recreation, and opportunity, although several collocations and word choices are unnatural.
Use conventional expressions such as 'in the long run', 'living conditions', 'medical services', and 'a severe cough'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with generally clear meaning, but article, agreement, and construction errors recur.
Edit phrases such as 'the large number of cars', 'advantages to living', and 'the abundance of opportunities helps children'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.