It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.
Sample Response
Bringing up young generation in a big city is not as good as the countryside. I partially disagree with this statement. In my view, cities are the best place to grow up children and to live. However, cities have some drawbacks which will be discussed in this essay. Many people opt to live in large cities rather than the countryside because they prefer to live in the metropolitan area than remote areas. Such a good benefit is an employment. People, who are living in a city can easily get a job in different types of professions. Another reason is the easy availability of transportation services, large complex network maps of buses and trains covering almost all surrounding suburbs of a city, which can save a lot of valuable time spent by travelling with the own vehicle, which is more convenient and economical when your children go to school. And you will know where they are. However, the cost of living in a city is usually much higher than in the countryside. Inhabitants of cities have to pay higher prices for housing, transport, and even food. Moreover, the big cities have some social problems such as high crime and poverty rates in comparison with the countryside. Furthermore, the air quality in cities is often poor, due to pollution from traffic, and the streets and public transport systems are usually overcrowded. As a result, city life can be unhealthy and stressful to our children. After analysing the essay, we can conclude that those points are the important factors when considering living either in the urban or rural area. Apart from those, entertainment facilities, well-developed infrastructure and living with latest trends are other reasons for living in cities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article Original: young generation Suggested revision: the younger generation Why it matters: This noun phrase requires the definite article and the conventional comparative adjective.
- 2. Complete the comparison Original: not as good as the countryside Suggested revision: not as suitable for children as the countryside Why it matters: The comparison needs an adjective that applies clearly to both places.
- 3. Match plural subject Original: place Suggested revision: places Why it matters: The plural subject 'cities' requires the plural complement 'places.'
- 4. Use correct verb Original: grow up children Suggested revision: raise children Why it matters: Adults 'raise' children, while children themselves 'grow up.'
- 5. Fix prefer structure Original: prefer to live in the metropolitan area than remote areas Suggested revision: prefer living in metropolitan areas to living in remote areas Why it matters: The pattern is 'prefer X to Y,' with parallel grammatical forms.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: Such a good benefit Suggested revision: One important benefit Why it matters: This is the conventional way to introduce a specific advantage.
- 7. Remove article Original: an employment Suggested revision: employment Why it matters: 'Employment' is uncountable in this general sense.
- 8. Fix relative clause Original: People, who are living in a city Suggested revision: People living in cities Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates the subject from a defining modifier, and the plural form fits the general claim.
- 9. Make wording concise Original: different types of professions Suggested revision: various professions Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same range more naturally.
- 10. Use concise collocation Original: easy availability of transportation services Suggested revision: ready availability of public transport Why it matters: This phrase is more concise and identifies the transport services described next.
- 11. Name the system clearly Original: large complex network maps Suggested revision: extensive networks Why it matters: The buses and trains form networks; 'network maps' would refer only to diagrams of them.
- 12. Fix verb pattern Original: spent by travelling Suggested revision: spent travelling Why it matters: The verb 'spend' is followed directly by an -ing form in this construction.
Suggested Rewrites
- young generation the younger generation
- not as good as the countryside not as suitable for children as the countryside
- place places
- grow up children raise children
- prefer to live in the metropolitan area than remote areas prefer living in metropolitan areas to living in remote areas
- Such a good benefit One important benefit
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers a useful range of urban advantages and disadvantages, and its main ideas remain generally understandable. However, the position is contradictory at the start and unclear at the end, much of the discussion concerns adults or city life generally, and the single paragraph weakens progression. The priority is to choose a precise degree of agreement and organise child-focused reasons into separate, fully developed paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses relevant urban benefits and drawbacks, but its position is inconsistent and several ideas are not specifically developed around children's upbringing.
State one unambiguous position, then support it with two child-focused comparisons covering education, safety, health, or development.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence of advantages followed by disadvantages is discernible, but the entire essay forms one paragraph and several long links obscure the argument's hierarchy.
Use an introduction, separate body paragraphs for the main reasons, and a conclusion that directly restates the position.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of city-related vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and word choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Learn accurate combinations such as raise children, employment opportunities, travel by private vehicle, and stressful for children.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but errors in articles, relative clauses, comparison forms, and sentence control occur frequently.
Build shorter complex sentences with one clear main clause, then check articles, prepositions, and relative-clause punctuation systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.